black illusion

guilty.

2008-04-06T14:33:00.002+08:00

ytd, i made jie super-ed pissed
with me 'cOs i really dont lyk
the rushing feeling. Guess i
really made her damn mad with
me. wad's with my stupid attitude?
always making ppl angry with me.
always making ppl upset & especially
the ones dat are really important to
me! hais. my life suck. i told myself,
why i cant i be a good girl to those
who care for me.

TO VANESSA JIE,
i am so sorry for
my fucking attitude.
it wasnt ur fault,
i was to be blame.
just hope you will
contact me soon.
FROM STEPHANIE MEI
(i suck. my bad)

went to pierce my tongue @ bugis st.
these was my 2nd time piercing cOs
first time was close. this is round
damn pain mayb it pierced thru one
of my vein. jie, wasnt beside me to
make it lose concentration lyk the
very first time. it was my fault.
went to G.R.A.X.S to visit COCO,
the waitress there, my baobei..
as promise to her, i went there to
get laugh at.
LOL.
COCO said "wow! you really very
brave lei." nothing lahz. Abt 3plus
we all went back home le.
wake up le, i felt really guilty
and so i typed this post to her, my jie.
hais~

Pushing him away.

2008-04-04T12:43:00.002+08:00

my WMP playing 蒲公英的约定..
tis is my favourite song,
as i'm listening to it..

i cant help but tink abt
every promises made and
almost all were destroyed.
i wish i can go back to e
very beginning when love
is still so sweet and i
trust my lovers. i cant
seems to trust anyone nw,
even myself. simply becos
i made many wrong choices
& walk a path of no return.
Everything seems to change;

my love
my heart
my mindset
my choices
my life
my career
my all.

dont ask me y? cos i've no
answer to it.
tears flow-down my heart.
no one knows a single bit
of how i really feel.
i am so lost sometimes,
i am down most of e time,
i am sad within but still
act as if nth happened.

pushed someone away..
a very hard push!
i mean it.
i am so sorry,
tis is all i can do
nt to hurt you so much.
i dont want us to start
or fall deeper.
a goodbye seems to be
better in our lives.

Mayb you'll rmb me,
mayb you'll forget me.
i wont blame you cos u're
definitely a nice guy.
i nt gd enuff & not ready.
take care k?
=X

sob sob =(

burberry wallet

2008-04-02T12:22:00.011+08:00

yuppie!~

i FINALLY got the

"BURBERRY wallet"

i wanted.

LoL.

out of words.

i am gg to eat grass for

the following days.

til my last pay which

will be on 25 April 2008.

i tendered already cos

i really dun wanna waste

my time on learning nth

but just sitting here.

i wanna my career

to be as fun as

anyone's.

UPLOADING pictures....

after buying the wallet,

we went hereen

"FOURSKIN"

to find van, her first day

working there.

she's lyk so sian and tense

cos so sad cant use phone.

wtf.

dat's life for retails sales.

didnt get a chance to take

picture of her.

went to Causeway point...

to meet WJ for chit-chat,

but ken, roy & ben tagged

along. wj wanna tell me his

xin shi but no chance.

was having fever at dat

point of time but ken

gave me medicine to

calm my fever dwn.

wasnt feeling alrite,

but i wasnt dat sick too.

hais.

slpt really late abt 3plus

in the morning lah.

Oh yah.. i going to sentosa

either fri or sat..

mayb if got enuff money

to get a bikini.. i will.

my bikini gg to say

"bye bye"

go there chill......

WOW!!

tears of joy OR tears of sadness

2008-03-28T16:11:00.002+08:00

27/03/08
thursday
happy day.

went out wif van & wJ
was high on caffeine and
laughing all the time.
van and Wj, were wad
the fuck was i laughing abt.
silly me. mayb when i am
too tired, i cant take
"caffeine".
i'll look worst then i'm drunk
lol.
Sorry if i was too gone..
went ZARA to get a top.
hee hee =)
spendin' my pay lyk nobody's
business.
Bad news to everyone..
i just tender my resignation
letter to my boss.
As for nw, i'm serving
my 1 month notice.
i hope i cant get a new job.
i ned to a fun & challenging
J
O
B
.
.
.
.

my jie - VANESSA

2008-03-27T00:21:00.005+08:00

This post in dedicated to my jie..
VANESSA<3

i nv care so much for sumone,

after my great grandma..

passed away in peace.

everytime i tOk about her,

my tears will fall.

nothing seems meaningful

to me.

jie seems to be the most

important in my life beside

my family and relatives nw.

she's become sumone whom

i wish to see her happy with..

her "HIM"

only we know who la.

hee hee =)

i'm here to tell you.

i will always be here for you

no matter..

in Physical.

in Mental.

in Emotion.

i hope i wont lose a jie lyk you.

i hope we will always be there

for each other..

i know u need my support badly..

for wad u are doing nw.

YESH!!

i will give you my full support.

just dont give up bah!

"REMEMBER.."

wad i told you just nw,

nv regret wid e decision, you made.

follow where your heart bring you to.

"Do wad make you happy, can le"

LOVes

mei<3

had a fun time.

2008-03-24T10:15:00.007+08:00

i love the stayover @ jie's place(vanessa)

wif gin li & harry<33333
i know i am xin fu de
to haf jie, gin li, rof, weijie
and etc..
in my life;
supporting me..
caring for me..
loving me..
protecting me..
pulling me thru'..
i've nv felt this way for a long time
with their present,
i laugh,
i cried,
i smile,
i frown,
i angry,
i just love the way we are together.
stolen some pictures frm my jie's
blog. she edited them til nice nice
den i grab and share wif others

here lo..

ANYWAY..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR HARRY!!

fOtos....

"AT HARRY'S BURFDAE CELEBRATION"

"AT e pub call.. Graxs"

i'm not ready.

2008-03-22T13:14:00.022+08:00

ytd was a horrible day.
but after i met jie,
things changed.
he he he.
my jie is my lucky STAR!
LOL.
we went to kino for her
magazine frm japan.
she'll be happy when
she gt them.
she wasnt in a gd mood.
just wanna see her in her
happy mood.
she is the important
person in my life
beside my family.
she's always one of
my family member=)
...
we went dwn to harry's
birthday celebration
at CLARK QUAY de
bridge where we usually
meet b4 we go club.
this time round we went
to grasx to meet e rest
of my fwens
after harry's.. sing k
and drank alot.

went wenwei's place to
rest and chill.
LOL.

fotos time;

jie's birthday dinner

birthday girl!

huiqing

Gin Li

=)

FOOD

AT HOME-CLUB(The riverwalk)

.....
after kino.
@ Taka toilet

HArry's

DM kor x2 + me

jie+mei = kiss kiss

leon darling + me honey

stay tune..
please dont just view can?
At least leave some comment
or tags. k?

see ya<3

happy birthday, vanessa jie

2008-03-20T08:54:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO.....

vAnessa jie =)

2day is jie's birthday,
its really great to
celebrate her special
day with her l8r. i wish
my birthday many will rmb
and its nt a lonely one =/
she's loved<333333333
hee hee =)
ytd was pretty emo and
tired but i am fine nw.
things i ned to settle,
all settled. love is
something i will let
fate bring me to who
i really belong and
will love me for who
i really am. i just
wanna concentrate on my
career first=) love love

tml holiday but i gt no
plans at all lo. haha=)
at night going to clark quay
for harry's birthday.
MAYB go MOS after day.
mayb not. nt sure wORs.
hehe. i going to live my
life in a happy-go-lucky way.
does it sound better?
yupp. i guess so.

jie. lets haf fun 2day!
dont tink too much.
or else i will sing
"xiang tai duo" for you =)
LOLx. loves

muacKz!!!!!!!

why?

2008-03-19T22:36:00.002+08:00

2day many things happened and i found out,
wad's really going on with my life?
i was just being selfish about me loves.

my conclusion..
nv believe guys saying about waiting 4 you;
nv trust ur heart;
nv consider going bck wif ur ex;
nv hold on to them'
nv promise them of anything;
nv give in;
nv compromise wid their action;
nv rush;
nv be selfless;

the above mentions are wad i experience
& encounter. so y decide on loving or
choose loving, just put urself in a
position you dont haf to tink much.
mayb my heart is dead. =)

love isnt wad i wan.

2008-03-17T12:50:00.002+08:00

my beloved S500i was certified dead
yesterday afternoon. i'm so sad =(
Using a very old Sony Ericsson phone.
cant msg or call lo. rOfi say will lent
me his RED phone!! but i still miss my
S500i. been thru so much with me & best
thing was.. its nt a 1yr old phone. hAis~
planning to get the same one again but i
was tinking why nt i get something new?
but i lyk to use dat phone. that phone
meant alot to me.. rofi, my bestfwen buy
for me de lo=) LOLx.//x nv tot i will be
in this state. gt very troubled wif alot
of BGR problem wOrs. i dont understand why.
simply becOz my life is miserable. y cant
he just let me go. i dont wan to hear and
see wad u wanna do for me. i dont need it
at all. i cant live better without u. i am
free and easy without you. Mr. Goh, please
la.. bu yao zai fan wo le, ke yi ma? leave
me alone for once can?

when for jie's birthday on sat, my heart
pain to see her cry on the celebration day.
she meant alot to me cOz she was always there
to see me thru' darkness and care for me
lyk a baby sister, many will tink we look
lyk lesbian but we're very loving foster
sisters indeed. i miss her very much but
i am meeting her l8r. she knows me very
well and i <3 h3r. silly me. =) she definitely
loved by me. LOLx. sound so les=)

she havent upload peekchas = pictures.
no photos...

12 march 2008

2008-03-13T10:48:00.013+08:00

met van(jie), gin and rof @ Parco Bugis Junction.
we had sakae sushi for dinner, wenwei joined us
abt 5-10mins after we start ordering. jie and gin
went to e toilet and dat's where i bought a new
tube for $39.90 den we went to MUJI to get their
stuffs. MUJI's tings are so nice, we just wan to
buy everything home. pretty ex but worth it. e
design of everyting so amazing lah.. LOLx.//x
went to mac to rest OUR legs and haf a drink.
we chit-chat & den when i called weiyi, where we
were goin g to meet but he told me he's not going.
i hate ppl last min PS me and in the end, my jie
& rof went with me to MOS. ANGRY wif him, my didi
somemore lo. *DISAPPOINTED* jie very long nv go club
wif me le but we didnt change much cOz i am still
her "energizer". i just love dancing with her and her
move just matches wid mine. gt some cute young guys
came by and ask our name and ask r we lesbian.. LOLx.
rite? but we are nt. just super-ed loving dat's all!
ha ha =)

van & steph is love <333333

we went off early cOz today got to work and so we went
liang court mac for a drink. its been so long since we
are there after clubbing. jie and me chit-chat til drinks
came. guess rof was hungry cOz he ordered a nugget meal
wif my mineral water and jie's green tea. Really wanna
thanks them for a great evening til night. i really love
dem all. we haf lots of pic in jie's new digi camera, Canon
ixus 80. jie's birthday bbq tis sat, 15 march 2008. already
know wad to get for her =) LOLx.//x very tired cOz i didnt
really slp last night. it was fun! i love VAN, GIN & ROf.
my jie and bestfriends!!!!!

picture time;

she is GIN <333333

she is VAN <333333

She is ME <33333

our BIG eyes!

rule no. 1

2008-03-12T12:16:00.003+08:00

went cine with my friend, kraven
to watch movie. we realised each
other's chance and i know we've
grown-up to an adult world. i
really enjoy my time with her &
thanks for everything. actually,
wenwei & gang suppose to me meet
at grass, drinking place. kanna PS
but sharon,jac n one other guy was
there too. i forget his name. drink
lyk crazy and dance lyk crazy too.
tonite MOS, going hm early tml got
to work lor. damn sian.

memories are meant to keep in e heart.
reminded by the ting we used to do.
i still miss the guy with the lorry,
his name is "CC". but its past and so
i haf learnt to let go out many loves
and choices. just ned tink alot. i will
nt rush myself into any more r/s. just
dont wanna be hurt and more =)

gucci landyard.

2008-03-11T09:24:00.006+08:00

happy day.
finally got myself a gucci landyard.
went for movie after having dinner @
sushi tei.
we watch "The leaps Years" & i love it.

"it is not the the stars to hold our destiny
but in ourselves"

"its better to haf loved & lost
den nv to haf loved at all"

"In three words, i can sum up everything
i've learnt in life; it goes on"

these are the quotes dat i really moved me.
mayb in our life, we just blindly searching
for our partners and didnt know whether we
were fated. fate is a simple yet said to be
a very confuse words. many of a time, do we
wonder wad is love all abt. love stories,
romance or sex. i do, dunno wad's love to me.
after facing so much, i decide to give myself
a break. mayb i love u isnt or shudnt be said
so easily. the movie really make me question
myself, am i in need of a partner or just being
somebody for the sick of it. seeking for nth all
alone. ha ha =)
trying hard to let my heart go for rest and calm
my soul into peace. i wondered where it will go
and who i will meet in future. nt going to rush
myself. i want to be with my girlfriends and all.

take care.
stephy..

i am sorry.

2008-03-10T09:03:00.002+08:00

ytd was a night dat i got myself so drunk w/o him.
i created a big mess. got to apologize to him & his bro.
i didnt know wad was i doing last nite.
i accidently call him last night, i checked my phone tis
morning and realise my phone was flooded with msgs by him.
mayb i msg him super-ed weird tings ba. well, to prevent
myself frm calling him again =/ i deleted his no and his bro.
i decided tis tings must end.

everyting is in a mess. i just dont wanna make tings wOrs.
i love him but i dont want to be with him. cOz i am just sick
& tired of seeing myself lyk someone i dont know at all. its
scary to find urself being lyk dat. mayb i dont love him as much
le ba.. wad he did and ask of me..? i dunno =/

i am just ignoring my love life. focus to be rich as in self-earned.
ha ha ha =) i want to go thailand. i am going this april i guess <33333
who wanna join me and my bestfriend, rof.

silly me.

2008-03-09T16:20:00.003+08:00

Nw my focus

my family
my friends
my life
my career

but not relationship =)

i still wanna be loved.
silly me =)

pure disappointment.

2008-03-07T12:10:00.002+08:00

disappointed.
upset.

2 words for today =/

back to my old life.

2008-03-06T10:44:00.002+08:00

walking back to my old lifestyle.
many tings make me finally realise..
i wasnt the girl for him.

i wasnt e girl he was after.
just a passerby.
well, does it really matter.

dreams of happiness
nightmare of fear

drinking...
clubbing...
dancing...
chilling...

walking back into my old life

deleted.

2008-03-03T12:42:00.002+08:00

ytd was a day of broken dream.
spent sometime with him.
deleted posts abt him.

i really ned a break for everything.
although i know i missed him.
i decided to leave it all behind.
friends will be a better word for us.
currently, i just wanna focus on work,
my family & friends.
"Relationship" = end.
fate seems to be torturing me.

love = pain
hatred = lost
cry = broken

........nvm

photo @ ECP

2007-12-30T20:23:00.001+08:00

ECP @ 28/12/2007

finally.//x

2007-12-30T01:52:00.000+08:00

yEah! i finally got my levis specs made at
queensway. i went there wif rof to see see,
shop shop. i also bought myself a dress dat
i lyk. rof said "its fits you, very nice". i
also saw this nike jacket(red+beige) also
veri nice @ $83.50 but i didnt buy cOx really
brOke liao. Actually i am a happy lil girl
liao lo =) went pass queensway tattoo & piercing
shop, i want to go for tattoo-ing. stylish wOrs
i cant put in obvious place of my body cOx my
mummy will kill me. i am starting to haf a bit
cough le. mayb smoke too much bahx, trying to
cut-down le. guess wad i did the day b4.. i was
cycling @ ECP with Rof(big-bro) and we had
seafood for dinner which i didnt had for months.
den we meet wei yi didi at ECP mac den we walked
over to marine parade to walk walk. there's "ANIMAL"
fashion shop dat i modelled for. the wallets are
attractive but i still aiming for the white jacket
dat i wore on the fashion lo. nw abit drowsy cOx i
ate cough-mixture, if i got drink it i will haf no
voice tml. bought make-up to refill the ones dat
are going to finished and it cOst a bomb.. i wanna
go slp le.. tml den updo=load the photos here.
nite nite =)

christmas eve.//x

2007-12-28T01:13:00.000+08:00

Christmas eve OUTING wif SEDUCTIVE

emo times are over.//x

2007-12-26T10:24:00.000+08:00

my emo season's over. i admit i emo becOx
i had a crush on matthew, my "bro". but i tink
we cannot make it de la. cOx i tink i am nt
his type of girl. i rather stay happy den sad
cOx sad very xin ku. After happened between e
both of us are past so i am nt going to stay
where i am. mayb miracles will happen but i
just wanna move on with my life and i know
crush are made for lil girls. dat's e only
excuse i can give myself to fall for a guy
i just knew nt long ago. i careless get myself
into this shit. i am done and get over liao.
matt is too nice.. he's always so sweet to girls
so i guess many girls fell for him lo. so i beta
back out and stay in my safe zone. emo emo emo
for wad. he wont even know or care. let it be~
ONS is normal rite? haha~* lolx.//x

i just simply miss my old life. well, i am
so tired of being lazy.//x LAUGHs!!!

christmas day

2007-12-25T09:33:00.000+08:00

Keno brighten-up my day

was really sad and dwn but i was cheer-up by
keno, my closefwen bah. he sent me my X'mas
present to my house and brought me to JP for
movie. we watched "I am LEGEND", a horror
movie bahx. Everything was a suprise lo=)
keno, thank you so much for everything.

written on: 11:17pm

Merry-less christmas

i wasnt ready for tis yr's christmas as i didnt
haf the mood to really wish others "merry christmas"
as b4. ii went home early and ii emo-ed @ home
i didnt want jie to worry for me. just dat too many
hurting things seems to happen to me. i hate being
someone's toy and ii guess i'm cheated of real
feeling again. Christmas seems to pass me by so fast
dat i missed mood of it. i miss the life i used to
haf xin fu xiao princess. but nw, i finally realised
it was too late to pull back.

taken away.

christmas eve of 2007.//x

2007-12-24T08:42:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY LOVES

its Christmas eve and i am wOrking til 5pm.
it's supposingly a half day for all the
staffs in local companies but myne, jap
company =( nvm la.. at least i am wOrking
i dont haf to tink too much. everyone seems
to be so happy in the festive season but i
am not. i dunno y? instead i hate this day,
cOx it makes me feel i am so alone. past yrs,
i haf my family, bfs and closefwen to celebrate
wif but nw my family haf their own plans, no bf
and close bestie shud be celebrating wif her bf.
i'm a lonely so.. kennthe(22) he's having opps..
Matt shud be spending christmas wif his pals and
"gf" haha=) and the rest shud be n seductive.. i
can join them as i might haf Company dinner @ 7pm.
mayb meeting darren after dinner for movie. i owned
it to him de lo. haha. missing someone so much but
i dont think he knows. so lost..

jie: mErry ChRistmas and i forgive uu.

Matt: bo sim ah!!!

Darren: see ya =)

keno(22): its the tot that really counts. ty =)

m3i: merry christmas.//x

dylan & duncan(n3ph3ws): ah yee LOVE both of uu. m3rry christmas babies!

bro&sis.//x

2007-12-23T04:56:00.000+08:00

i went MOS with van, kennethe(19), ron
and his two fwens. so many things happened
lo and i saw someone look so lyk ed-is-on.
even the way he dance. guess wad?? i drank
waterfall and vodka cramberries @ MOS. i was
supered high and i am having a sore throat
nw la.. LOLx.//x too many sad things happened.
just wanna be drunk to forget everything bahx.
And this morning, i receives a few msg frm
matt, he made me worried for him la. he was
drunk and i was lyk "WTF"... he msg me funny
things and i guess becOx he was drunk so he
didnt meant wad he said. he didnt reply me
after my last msg til nw. nvm bahx.. he shud
be better-off w/o me and he's maybe "a bro".
i really wish he confessed how he felt abt
things. i am not young liao and i'm turning
21 soon lo. i just wish to haf no more heartache
and hurts from relationship had enuff of it. i
hope things between me and him can settle properly,
dat's all.

i am supered broke liao.//x tml staying home
and i'm working on christmas eve.. mayb cant join
seductive for the celebration le. cOmpany might haf
dinner for LOCAL staff. hAis~* good nite everyone.
i am shag or bloody tired cOx i'm having my mens, sry
for being moodless, nw u know the reason.. LOLx.//x

An exciting experience on e road.//x

2007-12-21T09:58:00.000+08:00

ytd was my very first time sitting on sports bike(SP) wOrs. sO fun and exciting lOrs but to others, we were insaint lahx. ii just lyk the speed of it and i haf my wish for quite sometime fulfilled by Matt. And guess wad he told me after dat, he asked me to look at the tyres which were all wearing-out means no more fiction. if he was to tell me earlier, i will still wanna take de lah so no worries. "Matt, is nt becOx i trust uu. it was becox i wanna test the speed of it and i not afraid of death anyway." i can do the extreme for excitement excluding taking drugs la. After many times of life & death, i know i cant be that timid to stay in the small wOrld i was in. i know i ned a breakthrough from all the fears i used to haf. if i haf a chance i wanna go phuket(Thailand) for bungy jump. Life is boring and i wish i can go for all the exciting sports even if it will cox death. i dont care. haha =) i finally finished all the tasks dat were needed to be completed before we enter nxt yr which is 2008. i hope in the new year, i cant experience more and see for amazing thing happening in my life. 2007 might be a lil rough for me but i pulled it thru and i turning 21st nxt yr liao lo. LOLx.//x i wish by den i can get a bf who love me. Oh yah, guess wad i am planning to get on my 21st birthday "a Diamond ring". mummy told me dat she will get me a silver key. SOooo Excited lahz.. hehe =)

<3 love lo love lo........<3

wad a day.//x

2007-12-21T00:32:00.000+08:00

today can be a happy and sad day for me
cOx things are so messy nw between me and
"HIM".i dunno wad to say cOx i seems to be
doing something wrong again and mayb messing
things up. i haf no idea do he lyk or love
me anot.. but i just got a crush on him
unknowingly. just wanna keep things low cOx
i tink mayb he didnt know wad he was doing.
hAis=( and the happy thing is my PSP recover
frm its critical stage and i'm playing
dynasty warriors 2 in my PSP slim = my baby.
i LOVE it more den anyone cOx at least it
keeping me occupied. Christmas seems to be
lonely for me but i will be spending eve wif
seductive ppls. mayb just for dinner~ hAis.
i going to watch a new series called
"ROMANTIC PRINCESS". i missing him already
but there's nothing between us bah.. just
wanna let things calm and quiet dwn abit.
it'll better for the both of us..rite? LOLx.//x

New didi.//x

2007-12-18T16:11:00.000+08:00

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL TO MY "BROs"

This entry will be mostly abt this nEw bro(didi)
hat i have and he is....WEI YI~* A special
post dedicated to him ask my LAst lil BRo. i dont
want so many "di-di".. ~~"THREE"~~ will do lOrs.//x

NAMES OF MYNE "di-di"

1. Jensen(THEODORE)
2. Kenny(ALVIN)
3. WEi yi(SIMON)

To Jensen:
thank you for always being there for jie no matter
wad happened to me. Standing by me to back me up &
always caring for me.

To: Kenny
All the simple things u did for jie here. i appreciate
it and hope u take good care of urself. DOnt smoke too
much k?

To: Wei yi(LAST)
Last but nt least, thanks for protecting me and van
@ MOS and always waiting for me outside cine for an
hrs cOx of some cock-up. jie will wish uu all the best
tml. u know wad i mean and be "BRAVE" k? silly didi

Will get all of uu, a simple Christmas gift of loves.
LET us be close for a long while k? misses uu all~*
u're 3 just nice can be chipmunks..

jensen di-di

kenny di-di

weiyi di-di

my PSP slim.//x

2007-12-18T00:58:00.000+08:00

SO HAPPY today!! got my very OWNED PSP-slim and its
a "LIMITED EDITION". its RED in colour lo can strive-off
my wishlist in my blog & friendster. its my first christmas
present to myself. LOLx.//x so many surprises and final my
bro msg me and i was happy too. At least, i know he's fine.
mayb he jus resemble Chris to me in my life again, i didnt
wan to lose again. As i am pulling bck, he proves me rite..
nvm my baby PSP is my new husband/bf bah~* LOVE lo LOVE lo.
very tired le. tRavelled frm CLEMENTI--->BEDOK--->TM--->
HOME(JURONG) but its all wOrthwhile as i got PSP liao. haha
i going to slp le. nitex

KFC delivery man.//x

2007-12-17T10:39:00.000+08:00

ytd was a moodless and restless day for me.
but someting interesting happened upon the
delivery of my orders. tis is how it goes..
after my orders were delivered, hrs l8r i received
a phone call frm the "_FC" & the guy over the phone
was the delivery guy. LOLx.//x i tot wad sia? he
called to ask if we could be friends and all. so
funni la, he also ask for my no. and guess wad i
told him.. aint u calling me nw? laughs! actually
he was referring to my hp la. wad a nite? i tot
life @ hm will be damn bored but last nite, it was
a suprise for me. he ask me out for dinner or rounding
tonite, i told him.. lets see how the weather goes lo.
well, its still good to make new friends rite? i tink
this Christmas is my first singlehood after so long. i
havent been spending Christmas w/o a bf by my side but
tis yr i am doing so. its a blessing for the past 5yrs
to celebrate all my christmas with my ex. ty boys! am i
going to spend my christmas of 2007 unplanned..? guess
its life. my biggest wish tis christmas is to see my
wishlist(below my tagboard) fulfilled. I WANT A "PSP slim"
in white or lavender purple..i hope to get it end of this
month.. hAis~* den will be supered broke. nvm at least i
can play while i want for pple or in the bus bck hm..
good idea rite?

chipmunks

2007-12-16T16:44:00.000+08:00

finally watched chipmunks already. happy sia!!!
very funni and cute lahx. seriously i dont mind
watching again cOz it make me laugh after a week
of moodless week.

happy day.
my brother and me had dinner tgt @ home. he
ordered KFC cOx he didnt know i was sick but
i was happy cOx its been a long time since i
had dinner with him alot. he went oversea for
the past few days. me and my bro relationship
not very close cOx of our age gap bah.. but nw
we understand each other better. i love my bro
cOx i know he loves me and care alot for me!~*

"THE BIG 2" or "THE 2 BIG".//x

2007-12-15T14:59:00.000+08:00

vannessa - my beloved jie

rofino - supered redish

kennethe - Mr. nice guy

wei yi - xdd

LOLx.//x went for MOS 2nd anniversary wif rof, vann,
kennethe and wei yi, kennethe's poly fwen(xdd).. laughs
i was having the worst headache last nite cOx me and rof
kept drinking cOx its so long ago since we club tgt and so
sad Raymond,my new fwen was in camp and Matt,my dear boy(bro)
was at zOuk. Smoove was really packed lahz.//x anyway, thanks
to rof.. he sign me and vann into MOS and so we dont haf to
pay =) today, i'm having a slight fever and feel lyk vomitting.
i wanna go and watch "ALVIN & the chipmunks" lo. hAis. y when
i want to watch a movie is so difficult sia. Oh yah.. as i was
saying i really enjoyed myself with jie cOx our Mua-qi very hao
lo. we did e turning tgt and side-2-side wOrs.. i love jie..
was toking to yifan last nite after MOS-ing abt SEDUCTIVE and
realise i was right about "someone". Anyway, i just got to play
my part as a good girl in Seductive will do.//x miss all the gd
old times tgt!!!!!!

miss my bro(matt).//x

2007-12-13T18:08:00.001+08:00

i mayb watching chipmunks tonite wif whoever
who wanna watch with me lo. hAis~* i am a
lonely ranger. matt disappeared again lOrx.//x
ii hope nothing is happening to him bah.. hAis~*
he's miss by me. LOLx.//x He dont wanna call me
"jie jie".. y ah? anyway, he look older den me lahz
well well well, i also dunno y? mayb... nvm! haha~*
everyone is busy tonite and no one seems to be wanting
to meet me for "alvin and the chipmunks". =( i am a sad
girl. no love for steph = me. waiting for someone to
reply me for movie.. terrible state nw. I WANT TO WATCH LA!!!
shud i watch alone at JP = Jurong Point. hAis~* i just
wanna be in love but no "FATE". WTF!!! =( sob sob
hAis.......

walked away.

Alvin & chipmunks.//x

2007-12-12T20:57:00.000+08:00

just watched the trailer of the "ALVIN & the Chipmunks".
so cute can.. hais~ who wanna watch it wif me?? pls tagged
on my tagboard. feeling pretty dwn and lonely tis few days.
everyone ard me are attached and i simply just cant get anyone
to go out wif. i hope to get myself a bf who i can share
everyting with.. will i get one? at least know how to cheer
me up when i am feeling supered dwn lyk nw. Everyone tink
i am a lesbian when i am a straight. LOLx.//x once a les bahz.
but it was the past. well, i walked on the street and realise
so many couples ard me. feeling lonely and tired cOx my life
SUX. SOmetimes being alone is FUN but sOmetimes being a alone
make me sad. where haf all the good guys gone too?? i wish my
bf knows how to drive.. able to make me happy.. he must haf a
car love me lots.. care more for me.. age doesnt matter.. not
too old or too young la!!LOLx.//x Listing "wad i want in my
bf" haha.. nobody will want me de lah. hAis!!!! =(
LOLx.//x

FIRST k-session.//x

2007-12-11T23:13:00.000+08:00

rof with my unfinished kaya toast

MANGO Snow-ice

i want this PSP-slim in WHITE!!!!!!!!!

ytd was my very first k-box session after
my tongue piercing for abt a month. i still
can sing pretty well..rof, u agree? went to
eat lemongrass b4 e session and we ordered
alot of food AND.... guess wad.//x nothing
new.. i cant finish wad i ordered lOrx and
i was feeling really cold. i took quite a lot
of pictures and after everything...we still
went to HongKong cafe @ cine before my " lil
bro" came to fetch me home. haha. same thing i
ordered wad i wanted but i cant finish it.
rof got a new PSP slim and is wad i wish for
tis christmas but dont tink i cant haf it cOx
i got alot of plans to spend my money on lOrx.
hAis.. how i wish sky will drop a white PSP-slim
dwn in front of me. IMPOSSIBLE!!! LOLx.//x FAT hOPE!
wAs very cold the whole night and today too.
feeling sick. not much appetite too.. skipped
my lunch and ate abit only for dinner. was suppose
to meet " lil bro" for dinner but he disappeared.
Paisehme!! =( sad day. LOLx.//x I was in the office til
8pm den i left and took bus home. sick still working
til so late. still must bring work back to do la. haRd
life. i wish my bf is rich..and love me alot la. FAt
hOpe! Christmas is coming and e yr end is reaching soon.
i going to be a yr other in 2008. my BIG year is coming!!
21st birthday but i hard getting old and looking lyk a kid.
hAis. i better get bck to my wOrk. nitex everyone=)

milkshake.//x

2007-12-09T22:55:00.000+08:00

ytd was my happiest clubbing experience after so many months cOx finally SEDUCTIVE are bck in action.. BOSS(ed), leon, yifan, jensen, jasmine, yuris, joan and belle were all @ MOS. i really enjoyed myself last night cox i got bck the feeling of the past.. bridge, MOS and Liang Court MAC.//x$ WOW!!! it was something i hope i will see for very long time. i was contented and really happy enuff but i wish my vAnneSsa jie was there too..so we can dance tgt and haf lots of fun~* Main Arena was packed and sMoove was not cOz they swop the music and R&B was overwhelmed la. LOLx.//x I am suppose to blog about wad happened on friday. i ate 8 panadol at one go and half a bottle of cough mixture cOx i cant sleep and having a horrible headache. i scared my ex-bf, louis and i guess he freak-out cOx i wan asking him to let me guess in peace but actually i meant i wanna to slp so dont msg me le. haha =) he mistaken as i wanna slp. i miss the massage when i am having headache frm someone within the two wks. saw he at MOS ytd too.. he with edison at mac. guess we haf moved on and we didnt even say "hi" or "bye" cOx i dunno. i moved on so does he. hahahaha.. tml going sing k with my bestfwen in town..LOLx.//x enjoying life and relaxing at the same time. no bf is actually a good thing cOz dont ned to worry abt wad to explain or tell ur bf where and who u r with.. =P naughty girl is me!!! haha okaY la, i very tired liao. ned to go and rest..haha which rest in peace. nite everyone!!~*

Dat girl.//x

2007-12-07T09:10:00.000+08:00

last night worked til very late and my driver didnt come bck to fetch me hm cOz my BIG BOSS took him away. So i took bus185 bck hm while i was waiting for the bus.. i turned-on my MP3 on my phone to listen to wad i used to listen. "Dat girl" by Poztee played and i tot of the scene when i first know both, Izam & Irfan.. they were so buddy dat they sang at the same time when this good figure girl walked pass us.. LOLx.//x dat was really the good old times with all of them.. i guess dat time Izam was still frm SEDUCTIVE.. i will still say i miss the past and hate the present!!! haha~ nv lyk changes in the enviroment dat i am but this is a world of change. days goes by and things.. people.. sumthing just seems to be changing.//x growing-up to adult who haf to tink abt everything under the sun is a must for everyone to go thru but i just wanna be a lil girl in daddy's arms. lyk wad my schoolmate said " we're nt given birth in a rich family". i've to bear wif it. many people ask me y i didnt want get a rich bf... i dont haf e quality to haf one lo.. LOLx.//x

TO BE CONTINUE............

05.12.2007

2007-12-05T12:42:00.000+08:00

LOLx.//x
kind of missing dat cameraMAN frm UK @ ANIMAL BIKETOUR @ VIVOcity. if u read my previous entry, u will know y? Oh well, ytd went to watch 30 days of night with my sayany, izam. tat show was bloody disgusting and scary lahx. Took some pictures and we went to Newton Circle again for HEAVY supper or Late dinner la.//x Ate Fried Rice, Tom Yam Soup and 10Sticks of satay sia. i didnt eat alot cOz i kept feeding Izam. The TOM YAM soup sUx la. After all it was a happy night after the stress in wOrks and pressure frm my bosses. Finally, got sometime to blog lahz.

weekend burnt

2007-12-03T22:56:00.000+08:00

my weekends got burnt @ vivocity but i am not sad at all cOz after all it was super fun!! i met so many different ppl there. LOLx.//x i got a crush on this UK camera-man whom i took picture wif.. my favourite picture is the picture i took with him but i dont know his name hais. met other girls lyk regine, na na and shaig cOz i did the modeling for "ANIMAL" too. A very famous brand @ UK and beside modeling for them, me and regine also did the skating and giving out flyers for them. Enjoyed roller-blading, @ first i wasnt very good at it but i did better on sunday. impressive lors~* haha.. LOLx.//x even regine told me i improved alot and i guess it was all in the mind. Just lyk "love", i planning to find somethings/job to occupied my other weekends cOz i still cant really get over him but i trying really hard to moved on but i braked for awhile cOx i wasnt sure wad i was doing. Friday @ plush, i saw him so many times at in entrance and i got myself so high cOx kennethe's sec sch-mate made me drink and drink. l8r on, keno and me went outside to smoke and he didnt know me and the plush's designer ended everything and we chat abit but didnt wanna rmb too much and as i pretty close while toking to him, gordon whose my 2wks ex-bf came out. he look prefectly alrite and got over me and i was lyk sigh..hais and i walked bck in keno's arm on me and i didnt tink he cares cOx hais.//x we're over rite? i didnt wan it to end this way at least we still can be fwens bahz but its hard cOx i made him damn pissed. i was also bloody pissed with him cOz of his fucking attitude. i went to peep his WG a/c and saw his name targets but wad to do i still missing him. who cares and knows.//x i cant help it! hais~* i dont hope much just hope we can still be fwens. LOLx.//x OOOOOhhh well, drop the topic.. i am bloody tired cOz i bladed for 2 excutive day lo.=(

@ Vivo-city
my favorite pic

M
o
D
E
L
S

S
K
A
T
I
N
G

me + regine

na na + shaig

love changes.//x

2007-11-30T09:33:00.001+08:00

my perspection toward everything seems to change cOz as far as i've experience, gave me a good reason to learn and get the taste of it. it really make me stronger and wiser. i fell down so i am picking myself up. Putting blames on other or urself wont help the situation at all cOz its the cost of all the mistake. Yes, i agree. Assuming can result into all the misunderstandings, quarrels and fights so i learn from my bad. Everyone make mistakes lyk me & uu so please give urself a break. Ytd went to PLUSH for TranSENSE but not really happening la.//x but i finally realise that people changed & moved on with life with or without LOVE. Wad's LOVE? a game, a toy or something to cherish? i really wonder.. i used to cherish but nw i turn-out to be a player/gamer and treat R/S lyk something i dont really need anymore. wish to be loved but lazy to cherish or care le.//x can someone tell me y? Oh yah.. i shall draw the boat back to shore means get back to wad i was at. i saw a perfect couple, they love plushing, shuffling, drinking and etc.. who's May ah yee & yifan, my ex-bf.//x they shall have my fullest blessings. As for me, i am deciding/focusing on my career and further studies @ N.A.F.A = Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts / I.D.S = Inspiration Design School . In Graphic Design or Visual Communtication cOz it seems fun and challenging and can take up all my time on it. No time for anything else.//x Gordon(PLUSH designer)'s design inspired me to continue to further in this field. Design make the world goes round and beautified the surroundings.//x Huili, my bestie planning to go for the course with me. its a 2-3yrs course dat i am willing to invest my time & money in to see a bigger field in the market. Any advise..? Tag on my tagboard..okay? Oh yah.. toking abt this sign "LOLx.//x", Izam, my sayang took my helmet to personalise it for me especially. i am loving it and i falling for his dids. its love lo love lo love lo..!!!! i love sayang! mUackZ=) today's blogging lyk ASSIGNMENT..errrrr, hope uu all dont mind. long winded, STEPHIE~*

Message to yifan:
i want to tell you how much i appreciated ur love, care and concern. Nw as things are changed, i shud keep a distance with u to avoid misunderstanding with May. Take care of May ah yee and urself, my beloved fwen.. uu'll always have a lil place in my tiny heart. Tell ur mummy, i miss her goodies and she's very nice and warm. it's time u shud bring May back or uu brought her back already. y i so kpo..? LOLx.//x

Message to VanNessa:
Jie. Please know your stand and wad're doing cOz i will support ur decision but i want you to know and held my advise. i learned my lesson not listening to you and i am hurted. tears have fell, lovers to friends and all was becOz i didnt held ur advise to slow things dwn. Single might be the best for us. ROX!!!

Message to Jensen:
Di ah. Jie is always here for you to cry on, my shoulder for u to lay on, my stupid moves for u to laugh on and advise for u to think upon. Be strong for you're my lil man!! for her and urself! cheers!

Message to JoJO
wAd's happening to you?? no nEWs..

Message to Sueann:
girl, be good k? love ya.//x

Message to DM:
mUSt treat DA SAO good good okay? i will pass the phone to JEnsen soon..

Message to EVERYONE:
i LOVE uu.//x LOLx.//x

a new guy.//x

2007-11-28T10:27:00.000+08:00

sry didnt haf time to blog cOz busy with office stuffs.//x Recently met a new guys who was already in my MSN le. when i dunno how he get into my list. dat's nt the point why i am blogging cOz things are realli fast la.. i was prepared for anything and i recently haf a big quarrel with a fwen who was once myne guy. i guess all becOz of misunderstanding but things just got really bad dat we're no longer talking anymore. i know i was hushed but ur attitde make me very pissed off and freak me out.. wtf~* well, stop this and bck to that guy..we saw each other in webcam onli den he said he fell for me. it was lyk far to fast and he ask me to be his gal, i told him dat he dont really know and i dont wanna get myself in another nonsense ending r/s. one is enuff liao~ refering me and gor.. he was the fwen dat i had big quarrelled wif. i really don understand how r/s works for him but i treasured myne guy very much and appreciated love. he only give me excuses after excuses and when he get wad he wants.. u're gone! haha=) dat's life. logical rite? i am very tired and not ready for anymore relationship cOz the previous is hurting enuff la.

Myne NEW OFFICE(w/o patition)

Last night, me and iZam sayang meet @ toWn.. actually wanted to catch a movie but the movie only showing on 29th Nov so we went shop shop @ CINE and hereen. @ hereen i saw this digital camera which is the last model of SONY ERICSsON and took pictures of it. how i wish someone can get it for me.. impossible de lo and i wanna go get this 2 pairs of heels at U.R.S. One of them is half-covered is cost abt 47bucks and the other heels look causal and cute cost 30bucks. haha. so many thing i wanna get la..den after dat iZam_zam brough me to the place i wanna go for months dat's NEWTON hawker centre. HAPPY lo~ Mutton soup.. WOW!!

SONY ERICSSON(digital camera - lastest)

my love will get me home

2007-11-25T19:09:00.000+08:00

i really love this song cOz it touches my hEart so deeply.
"my love will get you home" by christine glass.

FINALLY i see his true colours, get to know me and be with me was all becOz he wanna get to know JOJO. hais. disappointed lahz. forget it bah.~* she's attached.

louis' blog.//x

2007-11-24T19:51:00.000+08:00

ii read my ex, louis' blog and realised he's still missing and thinking of me.
ii also read and tagged in his tagboard, he's attractive la.. got girls wanna date him. i wish he moved on cOz i dont want him to waste his time on me..simply becOz i
still care for him, as my fwen. my heart was once again hurt badly on thursday and guess wad i saw him @ PLUSH last nite. We were completely strangers to each other and i heard he's got his new target already. ii am planning to keep myself single cOz i am afraid of being hurt again. i admit i fell for him deeply but i just cant accept the fact that we're apart. Last night, i acted as if i've forget all abt him but i'm always looking ard for him. i cried in front of my jie, van..cOz she know abt me and him. i was too high and emo. i pretended lyk nothing happened and kept myself dancing with other guys. Hoping he saw and react to it by msging me but he didnt even care.. ii went 7eleven wif Izam cox i wanna eat mashed potatoe. he accompanied me for awhile..we were lyk b4 i knew "dat guy".

thank you, Sayang.
i appreciate ur attention and care.

Actually suppose to go bck wif edison and tin but i went wif izam cOz he say he can send me bck. he's damn sweet and he scare i fell asleep so he grabbed hold of my left hand. touched la~* but..... no plans~ LOLx.//x And i am planning to save-up money for my part-time course at NAFA. study and work so can occupied my time and stop me frm tinking of rubbish. mayb vann also wanna to study with me lo.// =)

ii'm dump.//x

2007-11-22T21:40:00.001+08:00

i am back to my single life lo~*

lil L.O.V.E.//x

2007-11-21T20:40:00.000+08:00

i will tell u y i am nt online during wOrking hours.. cOz i moved to my new office @ clementi. tml den there will be connection and haf been supered busy wif the wOrks. packing packing packing til i am so tired. Actually, ii'm doing tis on propose cOz i wanna stop myself frm tinking of "him". He's nv admit himself as my guy so i didnt dare to go near anymore. i will stay a distance til i see him with some other girls of his expectation. i nt tinking alot just wish he find someone of his mind and i didnt contact me for days after dat night i was drunk. having really bad gastric problem and yet no appetite to eat but dont wOrry ate med already.

guess he doesnt read my blog anymore. i am just annoyying in "his eyes". i wOnt blame him for forgetting me. take care, Mr G. L.~*

i know a new friend, her name is Shanon. she really nice but previously got some misunderstanding with her but cleared-off already. she's pretty, sweet, caring and lovable la. She's facing some dwn time and now i hope she's doing fine. stay happy k? its love lo~ love lo.//x shanon: take care of urself k? =)

i'm not missing uu.//x

2007-11-20T21:02:00.000+08:00

FINALLY, i got beloved phone bck frm SONY ERICSSON and i am so fucking happy. i can return the N73 to DM(my kor).//x very tired and i spent e whole day with my mummy and i am supered happy cOz i am loved by her at least. Sry pple havent been blogging for so long cOz my office juz moved to clementi and there isnt any phone/internet connections yet. i lyk my new office, really nice sia~* will take pics of it with my S500i tml.

II wanna wish SUEANN "HAPPY ADVANCE BURFDAY" and i'm so sorry cOz i wont be going down to plush on Wednesday. i am not planning to club @ plush this wk.//x dont ask me y? cOz i just wanna prove wad i said.

tinking abt the past weeks, alot of change and as the more i know about "him", the more i hate myself.. cOz he lyk tis girl still and i realised "my plush toilet cleaner gone" its a memories he left with me.//x funnit but its all a dream. i dont even tink i match his expectation. Too high le. i nt missed anyway. no love lo~ no love lo~ but i guess he really a nice guy, only ting is always his attitude. Good-looking man & Attractive lahz. me? ugly lil girl and fat la. let things slow pass me by ba..=)

@ home.//x

PLUSH

my favourite picture.//x

my beloved S500i

Dedicated to vAnnessa jie.

i cried for u.//x

2007-11-17T05:47:00.000+08:00

ii was longing to see uu but u're nt there. i cried while waiting for uu and my heart damn pain. doesnt my tears still matters to uu?? i wanna go back into ur arms and hug so tight..dont wanna let u go but u aint there anymore. Our 1wk was so sweet and i will rmb u in my heart. will u be there again at least try to love me..? plsss...

8888.//x

2007-11-16T15:58:00.000+08:00

ytd went dwn to bugis to look for van after wOrk
she went to alter her jeans/skinny. i was fucking
happy cox i finally can eat something which was
fishsoup = contented. nothing beats this feeling
coz u'll haf no life, if u cant eat at all. nxt,
will be drinking lo. i miss vodka, chivas, martel
and etc... den can dance freely with jie. i cant
really dance with drinking coz nt high la~* Oh yea!
i bought a shorter stud. Time to french someone..
izzit gonna be u? LOLx.//x

den we were late for the movie @ cine with edison
and so vaNnessa jie called for cab and unbelievable
abt the car plate no.

*8888

our cab fare was $8.80 lo. heng lo heng lo
$4.00 sub-charge + $4.80 fare = $8.80
first time, i took cab and i am so damn
happy lahz. i love being with jie & di
cOz they bring colours and happiness into
my life. whenever i am dwn and lost, they
are always there to give me a warm hug to
tell me dat i am loved. btw, we watched

BEOWULF = BEE HOON(by edison)

Man's lust and undesirable powers.

its a 4star movie lahx! i lyk.
its the truth dat scares and
their 3-D rOx~* LOLx.//x

Van: you're the sweetest jie dat i haf and
will treasure uu as my jewel.

this picture is dedicated to e special u, vAnNessa jie.

simply fate.

2007-11-15T10:04:00.000+08:00

well well well.... ii wanna apologise to "him" for all misunderstanding that i had against him. ii finally got to clear things off and actually ii was quite happy to see him around. i'm still confused abt our status while it pretty complicated. ii chatted wif sueann last night. she told me many things and i appreciated her concern abt me. she was worried abt me coz i am suffering wif my piercing. luckily, she wasnt there last night coz i vomitted and tin(my boss, edison's gf) coincidencely in the toilet. ii didnt drink last night, it was my gastric prob coz i only drank chocolate-chip milkshake which was made be my beloved jie, vaNnessa! its taste good! i lyk~ LOLx.//x anyway, tin told him dat i vomitted. my phone no batt again but i saw him cox i went office wif yanYan to collect TranSense tickets. i saw him =) he still cares for me. =X

hmmmmmm.. it was all fate dat i met him coz he's my primary sch senior and i probably didnt see him b4 coz he's 8yrs older den me. we meet in WG or mayb opps plush where Oh Cafe is. didnt see it comming or even realise we will ended-up being special to each other but nw i dunno=( well, i know its not easy for us to meet and i shud treasure and nt doubting him. i really hope things will be okay between us. missing someone who always say "hi hi hi" when i see him=P

@ IMM office

@ Oh Cafe

Outside PLUSH

silly ungku~* why ar why ar why ar

feeling much betta.//x

2007-11-14T10:52:00.000+08:00

ytd ii vomitted @ lavender mrt's toilet and saw blood too. it scares me to the core la but i realise it wasnt frm my gastric problem.//x it was my tongue piercing. didnt eat well or sleep well for the past days coz of my tongue - the pain of it kills my slp la. @ wOrk nw la~ still having stomach upset. really becoming DEADstephanie lo..LOLx.//x YEA!!! i am craving for mutton soup @ Newton hawker..

M
I
S
S
I
N
G

BBQ chicken wings

TO HIM:
ii know he still care but things changed and i decided to leave him with his work and career. dOnt ask me y i lyk him..? coz i dunno.//x mayb its be i'm easily attracted by guys who loves design lyk i do. Oh well, tink it wOnt wOrk out la coz no answer frm him since dat afternn.//x Trying my best to keep all the good memories with him. tonite, i will see him a new girl ba. i'm no longer his special girl in the club. sometimes, life just got to haf Ups & Dwns and myne had the most i guess. i haf decided not to irritate him. He prefered to be alone w/o me so i will nv approach him. just wanna tell him, "dOnt drink too much alcholic drinks and drink more water". goodbye.

miss blogging.//x

2007-11-12T00:20:00.000+08:00

ii missing my blog.//x well, many things happening to me during this weekend. i realised my mistakes and learned my lesson. my BELOVED S500i's LCD screen cracked
and i've to pay for it. ii am going to collect it tml la. e reason behind is nO more invITES for me. i wont go alone nxt time. Supered bRoke la~ got paid on the 25th of Oct nw.. hais=( LOLx.//x got my tongue pierced and unable to talk properly. VANNESSA is my only LOVE coz she dote my my crazy la. we went talking, walking, dancing and kissing too.

PLUSH - hi hi hi

staying close.//x

short but this is all i wanna say.

van: thank you for doting on me.//x
yifan: i am so disappointed in uu.//x
soulkiller: pls reveal urself.//x
michiyo[gf]: clubbing tgt soon kkk? .. loves.//x

sheesha-ing@Arab Street

2007-11-07T10:21:00.000+08:00

went sheesha-ing last min with Izam , vin frm hype and my gf~ Michiyo. i'm so sry gf for bringing u to a boring place coz u dont smoke. den we went dwn PlUSH coz they having private event, we didnt got in but we went chit-chat @ Oh Cafe and we were laughing out heads out coz of izam and vin gay-riiii action. They sent me back first and guess wad..?? i almost met an accident near my house. i was falling aslp til the bang shocked me and hit my left ear. nw damn pain can? LOLx.//x

wAiting for lift

Sheesha @ Arab St

\
bf = Steph + gf = Michiyo

treat me well k? if i will to leave tis world, u wont regret la. so close to dead la.

super busy day.//x

2007-11-06T13:23:00.001+08:00

busy.

3:22pm - For Edison

TRANSENSE

Calling all Trance Electro House Lovers!! Start getting your adrenaline pumping ‘cos on the 29th of November Plush brings you TRANSENSE!! Finally a night filled with the hottest beats that would make you start doing the liquid dance & Melbourne shuffle spun by DJ Spirral.

Get your pre-sale tickets at $10 + 1 drink and door sale tickets at $15 + 1 drink.

1 for 1 for the night from 10pm-11pm and 2am-3am. Grab your limited tickets fast.

**A canon waived off 20Pax
**A Premium bottle waived off 4Pax
**For table reservations, bookings need to be made prior to the event date.

For More Detail Please contact Edison
edison@plushclub.sg
81123115
Community Liaison

marvx's BIG day.//x

2007-11-05T08:47:00.000+08:00

blogging for the past 3days..

02 Nov 2007, Friday.//x
ii went dwn to PLUSH for Marvx's birthday and he wore the present dat both me and fan gave to him. i, personally felt appreciated by e bUrfday bOy! i met up wif kelvin WG too~ LOLx.//x ii went dwn to town first to window shop and wait for van jie to off work den we go down plush together. the lemon ice-cream at jie's workplace tasted damn sour but i lyk. ii LOVE vanNessa jie e MOST!!!!

Cineleisure & Takashimaya

Tang

Central Mall

03 Nov 2007, Saturday.//x
i slpt til quite late abt 4plus - 5pm, i was really damn tired. notti yifan woke me up, if nt i'll probably be sleeping still at hm. Sayang came to my place to fetch me and we went town to meet fan. i made fan waited for hrs at cine la. wOops! he looked fusious in the beginning and so i left him alone. JK called and met up wif us too den we went lucky plaza play pool. yifan was e ultimate winner dat night but i got myself alot of nice trick shots and i got everyone so shot. LOLx.//x anyway l8r, fan decided to club @ PLUSH so i followed zam to simei to meet vin frm hype and yan. we went to old cck's cemetry to see-see look-look and other place vin brought us and we heARd wildboar la~ scary and eeeeeriiiieee!!~

Paragon - outside gucci

ii lyk this shades frm gucci(hais)

04 Nov 2007, Sunday.//x
i slpt til abt 5plus. i stayed at home and did some packing and ate biscuits for dinner and i chatted with a senior of my pri sch. 8yrs my senior can?

note: ii going to pierce my tongue this thursday or friday. i will go for a good meal first! i want to eat lemongrass @ hereen.. or cocoa @ lido.//x

@ plush on ACTUAL halloween day.//x

2007-11-02T11:35:00.000+08:00

ytd went for chilling-OUT session wif fan, zam & yan. 4 of us went to town for really late dinner or supper lo. i was late for wOrk. LOLx.//x i lurves pictures.

ACTUAL Halloween nite
PLUSH

3:04pm @ IMM office.
i hate being free coz i will haf time to roam ard blogger to my fwen's blog and i came across Jasmins A.K.A MUmmy's den it remains me of "him".//x dont worry i wont mention his name here le. i promised de. its the song in her blog call "最后一次". He send me this song and i missed those memories, we spent. he said he wont let us 有最后一次 de but.. i wont cry or anything le coz i used to the empty hopes & promises frm guys. 我不能再zhen den kAi 心 le.//x becoz u left me bck in the dark. tink too much le.. dat's y i hate to be free!

met on of my ex.//x

2007-11-01T14:01:00.000+08:00

while during lunch i met one of my ex-boyfwen for lunch just nw. we went to JE entertainment's foodcourt for lunch. we chatted abt clubs, his current gf and more but he seem to change alot for his girl. so envy his gf.

last night went plush to see-see look-look but end up opening bottle and i reached home about 3plus. i slept at 4am and woke up @ 6.45am~ very high nw wOrs.

CINELEisure

cabbing to yifan's place

my new piercings

filing DAy.//x

2007-10-30T09:21:00.000+08:00

Really busy filing now~ blog tml i guess..

updating 26-28 OCT.//x

2007-10-29T09:09:00.000+08:00

update abt another adventurous wkend dat i had with my "Ghost Haunting pals". ii will personally list them dwn l8r.

26 Oct, Friday - plusher's nite
ii went dwn to plush to club. met irfan first @ Clark Quay mRt and it was very long since the last time i took train to club. i think it was with edison, Chris and yusri. Time really flew pass us so quickly dat i didnt know how to react at first but i am bck in my track. GUESS WAD?!? i saw this "he/she" in the same train dat i was in. WTF rite? i didnt really notice "it" at first until l8r, it was speaking damn loudily til all my attention was on it and the incredible thing was its dressing dat really freak me out. it was WEARINGGGG tongs, bra & holey dress dat many passager in the train viewed it sexy-OLD butt. LOLx.//x ii called fan = irfan wanting to tell him abt the "it". but i scare i was too loud spoken so i decided to tell him l8r coz anyway, i was reaching Outram. MAny malay guys disturb it and say funny things abt it. Yea, the "it" keep standing and sitting, to me i tink it wanna show-off its butt. ii was earlier den fan again lo~ he was 5mins later den me. LOLx.//x den walked to plush and saw many ppls outside and we decided to go get some drinks first. saw DM and we played 5 / 10~ drank quite alot den was pretty high. ii really LOVE to club with VANNESSA, my jie. damn fun can? the last song was "beautiful Girl" and we dance in a circle, enjoying everyone's presence. the club ended 430 in the morning.
Plush

whosgoing.sg

27 Oct, Saturday - "HAPPY HALLOWEEN"
gone to night sARfAri wif fan to visit JOjo & vinn in their halloween costume and l8r after they finished, we went to me Yan, Izam & popsoda for "GHOST HAUNTINg" @ 3 places
*Changi Commando Barracks
*Changi - Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal forest(too much for me)
*Pasir Ris Swamp
got followed twice by something unseen.felt their presence wif us..went to the barracks the first time, wasnt dat strong but this time round the presence was far to strong. second place, if u ask me.. i wont be able to tell u much coz i wasnt there. Pasir Ris worst amoung 3 places for me coz vinn saw the "thing" behind me so very close and fan saw it too. this one was damn close to me i know coz eeeerrriiieee... Jojo, Vinn and fan came last coz i decided to walk e middle with Izam coz i cant take the presence anymore. Jojo was damn pale and Yan did prayer for her. i was happy go lucky coz i dont want anyone to worry for me coz i know the presence didnt leave me til we reached bedok. my back damn pAin after we left pasir ris. i shall leave this untold.
night sARfAri

28 Oct, Sunday - SheeSha nite
vinn & fan came fetched me at my place and i had wanton noodles for my first meal den we go fetched Jojo as she ned to study for her 2 of O'level papers. i requested to go Tampines ikea(first time) to shop for my side-table. spend almost 200bucks there lo. went to fetch sueann den we went cine for sueann's first meal. we went esplanade for awhile and bought seaweeds and green teas. we wanted to sent Jojo bck first but i craving for Arab st's Crispy chicken and try the sheesha(another first time) den Izam came and join us after his visiting at his fwens place. chat til abt 12plus - 1 in the morning. ii reached home at abt 130 lOrx. slept on the car when Vinn was driving me back. THANK YOU, FAN & VINN~ chauffer of the two-days. Many thanks to all of u, gave me a wonderful time. LOVE appreciated.//x
ikEa(tAmpines)

Arab street

3days of updates here!!!! tags on my board, if u got something to ask.//x
x//. WELCOME .\\x to ask~

life without music.//x

2007-10-26T15:25:00.000+08:00

wondering wad's life without music?!? will it be lifeless?!? To me, it will be damn bored and music motivate oneself to moved on when things fall apart. music is my life and i just cant live without it. oh well, ytd i went dwn for event with my sayang, Izam. Actually we meet up quite early to haf our dinner and guess wad, belle saw me at Far East shopping centre den we chatted awhile. she headed home to change but she didnt turn-up in the end. LOLx.//x den we went to play pool after dinner. guess wad~ ha ha.//x i won him in most of the games becoz i am a lil lucky girl. den we went taka's projectshop to get my card holder dat i wanted to buy for awhile. den we make our way to MOS to meet the rest. met those people went MIA for quite sometime liao and toOk lots of pic with my beloved girlfwens & darlings~ all in whosgoing.sg - snapshots which i've claimed most of my pics. Laughs~ Havent been dat happy even since things changed and all. Many thanks to my sayang & the people ard coz i can see they are trying damn hard not to mention his name in front of me, lyk belle.. she run out of words when i said i didnt contact him and dunno will he be there for e event. i guess places with me ard he will try to avoid or he happily enjoying life with dat girl of his. Trust me, i have pretty moved on with my life without him. Not really looking for a boyfwen for the nxt half to 1yr coz i prefered my life this way. To me, no love den there will be no hurt hmmmmmm..... well, boys so sry, if u wanna be there for me u got to wait. if nt, pls move on. thank you~ LOLx.//x nw i prefered closest fwens den BGR..i guess! anyone wanna bring me to newton for mutton soup?? coz i am craving for it. Tag my msg board in the third lil heart shape<3 .. k? upload some nice pics.//x

MOS

last nite.//x

2007-10-25T09:53:00.000+08:00

ii went bck hm early yesterday coz i am suppose to pack my clothes out of my current closet which will be changed by noon, today. My new closet will be much bigger den my current but anyway, i am also going to change my side-table to sumthing more matching one~ i wanna simplify my room. Oh yah, did i mention dat my grandma will be coming to stay with me for the nxt 3yrs coz my beloved aunty will be going to states to work. yupp.//x gonna really miss her lots. Everything seems to change even my thinking coz i love to haf my room by myself but nw, i love to share my room coz i guess i will nv be alone for the next 3yrs. well, the more the merrier. aNyway, i am single and no longer attached to anyone. Actually, i enjoy single lifestyle coz i dont haf to report my location and my whereabout to "BF". continue abt last nite~ After dinner, ii fell asleep til abt 10plus den my beloved silly brother whos abit drunk i tink. He wOke me up to heat-up his missed dinner for him and he like so damn cute can? i lyk to see my bro drunk coz he's always the sweetest dat way. As he was eating, i chatted online with anyone whos online in my MSN coz i cant sleep so i went to the kitchen to den "drink" - Martel with COKE. Instead of sleepy, i got myself tipsy and high. i turned my room into my very own clubbing place~ dance til i calm my highness dwn. LOLx.//x!! Abt 1plus in the morning, i started to pack my clothes out and realise i need more dresses in my new closet. well by the time i finished packing, it was abt 2 in e mOrning. Sumone shocked me, guess who was he? yifan lo~ he came back frm PLUSH so early wOrs. ii chatted with him til abt 2.30 den i jumped onto my bed and sleep liao. tonite MOS having event, i'll be going dwn but i am leaving early coz haf to wOrk on friday. dotx.//x

getting pay soooooooOOOnnn!!!!!!! yeah~

venture to e EAST.//x

2007-10-24T09:02:00.000+08:00

ii was almost late this morning coz ii reached hm @ about 2 in the mOrning. damn slpy and tired nw. where ii went last night is wad uu all wanna know rite? LOLx.//x
Actually, ii was only meeting my sayang, Izam for dinner @ town, met him @ Far East Plaza den Yan called. He told Izam dat he was at CINE - iSHOP so we went over wif Izam's bike to look for him. we went for dinner den ii took tickets frm Yan. while we are chatting, Yan already deciding on a veture to Changi OLD commando's trainning ground. We left at about 10plus and went the in 2 different ways. Yan, Irfan, Vinn & JoJo took cab there and Izam ride me to simei to meet up wif his colleages den we all went down tgt..Izam's fwens all drooling over JoJo, my meimei~ wOops! sry Vinn. i tink including Izam lo. LOLx.//x if i was a guy, ii will too!! *ha ha ha* we saw ah gua b4 we go in to the haunted apartment. about 1 plus, we left the place for hm coz i new to wOrk today. LOLx.//x WELL:) i wanna thank Izam, my sayang for sending me bck.
i am still single, dont worry!! he is still single too!! yupp.//x Actually wanted to take pics but i didnt bring and camera and my phone(S500i)got no flashlight. yeah~ i bought a ear piece dat cost me 40bucks. LOLx! thank goodnessly expensive but i ned it cox my ear piece spoiled/lost.//x

time for lunch~ i better get going coz meeting someone online for lunch @ 11.55am, IMM Taxistand with this guy's email: jeremy_slpy@hotmail.com . if i am lost, find him~ LOLx.//x

moved on.//x

2007-10-23T09:56:00.000+08:00

tis will be the veri last post dedicated to him. I guess moving on is something i shud do, to stop my heart frm bleeding. ii know his heart no longer with me and so i regretted many things ii promise to do for him. last friday nite, i saw him @ plush coz it was edison's birthdAy. Horrible nite for me, he ignored me as he pass me by while i was tOking to fred frm WG. *disappointed* ii pass the tings to edison b4 i enter PLUSH. LOLx.//x it's life dat ii've to face it on my own. Everytime i tink of e happy and funny times when he make stupid faces to make me smile. while going down to Changi village to see ah gua or "transexist", he will come fetch me and in his lorry.. there's always my favorite "green tea & tomyam seaweed". ii was so loved at dat moment which i missed most. i took a place where we drink for the first & last time and my last kiss on him. *emo* let this post be a happy memories and moments for the both of us for at least last time. i tell him got guys wanna knoe me, he will get furious and caution abt it. so cute rite? telling me, he love me the most. sweet sweet moment left unsaid and beautiful memories left unsound. if he see this, i want to apologise for making her suffer so much for me. 5mths of pure suffering & waiting was hell to him. Thank you for protecting me once, loving me once and there for me all e time. nw, as you're gone i hope uu will haf e best of everything and grow-up to be a good man k? love ur parents and treat ur sister better coz she loves uu =))) moved on.

e last time we kissed.

busy.//x

2007-10-22T16:50:00.000+08:00

very busy today so no time to post..

plush

medicine in disgust.//x

2007-10-19T08:52:00.000+08:00

medicine in disgust.//x

ii was damn guai last night wOrs. LOLx.//x stayed at home and chatted wif fwens online and got myself on the phone wif my ex, louis. even though, we're no longer couples but he's still a fwen dat understand me damn well la and we chatted til 1 in the morning. well, today is my BOSS's birthday so i'll be heading down to plush to support tin and celebrate his birthday lo. BOSS: you're so dead, everyone wanna see ya drunk~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY la!!!! haha =) Aside all this, i am going to meet him to pass his stuffs bck. Necklace wif Jojo but i've the casing of it. LOLx.//x tough nite, i guess he will be bringing dat "special girl" dat got him to forget all about me. i will still hold on to my smile =) though i know it hurts inside. louis might be there too~ not becoz of me k? LOLx.//x ii was looking bck at some pictures of the outing dat Seductive always haf de lo. which e most recent one was Marina bay's steamboat i go the pictures still.. posting now:

Seductive "xia ren dan" = Prawn Omelette.

happy and contented with him ard!~ missing him.//x
....
...
..
.

sick girl in office.//x

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOSSSS once again.. Especially fer uu!

gastric sux.//x

2007-10-18T15:58:00.000+08:00

ii didnt go for work today coz having gastric which result from skipping meals becoz ii dont haf appetite to eat. my ex-bf msg me asking me to go back to him but ii cant coz the feeling is no longer there anymore. ii really dont wanna hurt him or make him suffer lorx.//x

PLUSH -last night.
1.)Jasmine(mummy)
2.)Vannessa(jiejie)
3.)Jensen(di di)
4.)Leon("darling")
5.)Yifan
6.)HArry
7.)Ricky
8.)Zen
9.)Samuel(LE)

ytd, the crowd was really bad but i enjoy dancing with van-van jie. she and me got abit high coz we drink mah.//x before reaching plush, we went cine for dinner @ the foodcourt. that was myne very first meal, guess wad i ate? CURRY UDON. LOLx.//x spicy food dat i shud avoid when i've gastric. me and mummy jas took pics. LOTS i mean but i not uploading everything, only nice ones.
*here are the pictures taken:

mummy and me, her nu'er.//x

pretty jas mummy.//x

mummy, i want kiss kiss..can? LOLx.//x

taken in bUs190 going toward PLUSH.//x

more kisses.//x

tml is a hard day for me. so close to being dead.//x stop here ba coz i tired le~ ii still miss you lots. take care~

esplanade.//x

2007-10-17T10:35:00.000+08:00

so happy. ytd was a happy day for me coz i went out with izam for dinner and we went to chill @ starbucks near the merlion. We chatted for lyk hrs and we really miss the good old times tgt. Seductive outings, friendship between all of us was so so close and all. We agreed with the changes we had and also singlehood lives too!! LOLx.//x ii bluetooth lots of R&B songs frm his phone~ Thanks Izam sayang for everything!! hmmmm... last night, i msg him to ask him whether he wil be there for ed's birthday party @ plush so that ii can pass him back his things including "myne" so-called birthday necklace frm him. i cant really forget him coz my surroundings and places i went.//x
ii know this friday will be damn hard on me but ii can pulled it thru. my heart tells me "wait on and see" but my mind tells me "no pt waiting anymore, he wont come bck". messy sia~ "baobei(C), please come bck coz i really ned you."ii hope u see this. hAis.//x

lust caution.//x

2007-10-16T09:00:00.000+08:00

i'm late for work 2day but boss nt ard so nevermind. LOLx.//x` well, last nite went out til quite late with lionel, my ex-college @ Lotus Grill. So happie meeting him cox it's been 2yrs since we last met. wtf. He's become a MAN as he's serving NS but he still as sweet as ever. thanks for giving me a beautiful nite but please e movie part away coz it's a boring movie called "LUST cAUTION" *PUKE*. Let me tell u more about lionel, he's my closest fwen @ wOrk coz he's Mr. niceguy to everyone and he's a japanese la, veri cool rite? he will nv fail to make to smile or laughing lyk crazy @ work but this 2yrs, we got to caught off with our indivual's lives. At least, we r bck as fwen.

pictures of us & only me.//x ::P

on e way up on escalator @ cine

me + lionel(someone really close to myne hEart)

this is the movie tix for "LUST CaUtiOn"

me @ bathroom

bathroom pix no.2

in myne reflection.

my wounds are healing and i'm moving on. goodbye loves!

pictures are memories telling me. At least i haf happy ones more den sad ones..rite?
LOLx.//x
love is not wad i am loOking for coz heArt's DEAD.//x

loved appreciated.//x <3

2007-10-15T12:44:00.000+08:00

back to myne old lifestyle and simply just wanna be enjoying life as it is. Jack: everything is far too fast for the both of us and i not ready to get into any relationship. i'm fucking tired of the things dat happened in my stupid life as i once tot i was loved by many. they all turned away frm me, "ALL AT ONE GOAL". Luckily, i've my mei mei(JoJo) with me. Sometimes, i am realli jealous of her perfect life and her beauty. But i still deeply in love wif her which nothing can stop me caring for her.

Some pictures we took:

purely in love with her.//x

mei taste lyk honey.//x

first nEopRints wIf [j]oJo + [V]inn + [Y]ifan + [K]enny + [S]teph.//x

no one realise [J]ojo was abt to kiss me.......muackz.//x

we were once in love.//x

imagine i hugging uu.//x

simply wanna show my simple appreciation to all who loves me, "a kiss of love" MUACKz.//x
i can see dat i am getting over it let becox i gt the supports frm all of uu. telling me dat i'll be fine and caring good care of me. u all are loved by me.//x

a new start for me

2007-10-14T13:45:00.000+08:00

i guess i've moved on. last nite, i went dinner & movie wif my cousin, dann. we watch Resident Evil with two other seductive members, harry & kenny. After dat, we drop my cousin to take his NR3 and we went plush to meet JoJo & Vinn. Didnt really drink much but i really feel much better without it. Cousin told me, mayb things between me and chris was just an affection or me relying on him too much. Cant blame Chris cox mayb jus want me to be happy and for him to love me or not is already past and i'm taking time to let go and change myself. he will always be my friend.

this things happened will definitely make me grow-up and learn to treasure who ard me and love me much. I told myself today will be the last day i dwell in my misery coz from tml onwards, i will be a new me. Memories are beautiful. Thank uu so much. bros & sis, fwens and those who care: love appreciated. muackx~ LOLx.

Apologise: JOJO & VINN - sry to cause so much problem for the both of you when i was drunk. i love u, both.

dont miss me ah?? LOLx~ JOKING LA!!

back to single style

2007-10-12T09:24:00.000+08:00

well, Single rOx~ guess wad i am going to kill my old boring life and make it into something more fun & adventous. i guess i'm bloody silly to love someone dat cause me to carve his name. If uu haf someone else, just let me know so i wont be dat silly to wait for miracles to happen//. FUCK! nothing is better than clubbing, drinking and dancing. ZOuk, MOS or Plush for tonite? anyone? it's been very long since i club @ phuture~ but i cant bear to leave MOS.. LOLx. my boss also ask me to support him. messy messy lo.. tml, Hari raya le.. wish all my malay fwens "HAPPy Hari Raya~".
dotx..

one more chance

2007-10-11T13:16:00.000+08:00

ytd, i got myself to tipsy dat i fucking cry again. how many time must i cried for him. he wont know or let's say "he wont even give a damn abt it". i'm a history to him whom he desserted ans left behind. i am always so silly and stupid coz when he love me, i ignored him & ask him to leave. now i can only fucking wait for dat "MAYBE" to happen. Maybe he will turn back and love me again. i promise to give u a chance le and i really wan u to love me. pls come back is all i ask for. i know saying all this wont help and wont even cross ur tots. i am really missing you so badly, lyk a chinese saying "thats when uu nv tot you will lose this someone/something and so u didnt treasure it/him, there he goes out of ur life. "Baby(C), i love uu". he used to call me "baobei" when i nv let anyone else call me dat after he did. He give me the feeling when i lost brandon. he told me he wont leave me lyk he did, promise me to keep me accompany and always stay by me. hAis. i just wish he could tell me why he gave up loving me and wanna meet him to tok things out. no matter as fwen or my lover, i just wan to know to the reason.pls........! one last chance to love me.. can?

MOS tonite!

2007-10-10T09:50:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling much better and i'm also planning to dance off, all my pain out of my body~ the pain in my heart is really killing me. i even dreamt dat we are back to the past but dreams are always against reality. he's gone and so my heart as this part of my life is dead. i will be alive til i can feel my heart once again which it would take a long time to heal. Thankfully, i got yifan, my ex-bf who know the situation dat i am in~ He's still the one dat understands me e most, he still care for me as much as we are together b4. we r meeting for dinner & club tonite. i hope we could all stay in the past no love, no pain, no give-up and no chance to get myself hurt deep inside.
silly me. ii spoiled everything ii was having and gain lots of hurts. i wont be dat DEADstephanie anymore. fuck-off asshole~ so stress! wanted to quit smoking but i just can help myself coz dat the only thing i can cut myself out of everything. missing him will only b a secret in my heart~

some pictures for viewing:

me + yifan

me + he's gone

was going for WG event during july

vinn kOr + steph mei

both of them are my loves

@ genting trip OCT`07

let go with cuts

2007-10-09T09:58:00.000+08:00

i went out til quite late wif Jojo and e rest to ECP for chill-out. break down in tears in front of them. They got so worried for me when i know i shouldnt cry in front of anyone for something dat i am ashamed of. i was pretty drunk den i did something even more stupid. i'll upload the picture. dont scold me coz i really heartache but i shud let him go to wad he loves & believe in. He was mean but i think he is just trying to protect himself against more hurts from me. This few month, i really made him suffer so much when i realised i really love him, he left. I dont blame him, all i blame is time and my heart so messed-up. EVERYTHING's too late for me to speakout. its fated. Tears keep falling in my heart but i promise not to dwell in it cox i will let go of him. Hope he's happy with whoever he is wid and farewell to e memories coz now its history. "BEI PAN" is the song in my mind when i think of him.

"wo bei pan le zhi zi"

After work, ned to go for hep_A+B injection alone. hope the doctor wont see my cuts on my tighs. LOLx. actually to explain why i cut myself.. it's becox i owned him all the sufferings and love for me. Main reason is becox the pain in my <3.. last nite, JOJO, VINN & HARRY rushed down to my place to look for me, 1/2hr after i cut myself. JOJO was so worry for me lo. i nv cut myself after my ex, felix.. i own 4 apology to my current bf, JOJO, VINN & HARRY. "I'm so sry"
my baby JOJO.. sent me this new song by fan-fan & liu luo ying "不能跟情人说的话 ".
xie xie ni, wo zhen de han ai ni.. wo de mei mei~

081007

2007-10-08T09:28:00.000+08:00

i hate falling in love with someone i shudnt, someone younger den me when he was starting to change his direction of love against my path. i went for the trip and i kept thinking of him and so i msg him but all i get was unkind remarks frm him. i felt really sorry toward my bf cox when i was only suppose to spend my time with my baby. i also broke-up with baby cox of many things and the differences between us but i pulled bck coz he ask me to stay and he treat me extremely well. my baby is my Mr. perfect but i dont know why my heart just cant give in fully//wholeheartedly. i only can blame it on myself. i lost the game. if i was given a way to choose again, i choose nt to fall for anyone coz love hurts.

i hate chris!

all guys are pure liars in disgust. i hate guys who promise to wait but break it. i hate!!! stephanie is gone//dead.

spent $77.80.

2007-10-03T10:07:00.000+08:00

GIRLS TALK:spent alot today. bought 1 set of undergormet//. 2 new bras//. a new shirt-short//. @ IMM level one building lo~ so sian!! heartache but still ned to wear de mah?!? the sale-girls are so polite and friendly dat's y i wanna buy more~ but i ned them mah. 2 very comfy and 1 very style~ STOP MY BRA DISCUSSION.

LOLx. Sorry guys! ii'm a girl so yupp, please understand k? well, if i dont get it nw when i moved office @ e end of month to clementi loop den cant buy lo~ my mummy ask me go genting to get them with i tink bras&panties.. i better get them in singapore more hygenic rite? =) TWO more day and i'm out for my Genting trip to haf lots of fun~ wid my bf, his bro+gf~ LOLx. hAHa-_-" gonna miss mummy alot. hope things will change between my parents bah. i hate my daddy in all means but i cant stop them for bad. i owned the both of them bah~

weekend.

2007-10-01T10:33:00.000+08:00

oh well.. during the wkends, i spent it wif my bf and his relatives because it was his cousin, eileen's birthday. "Happy Birthday to you"! played mahjong thru'out and the both of us won 40bucks. LOLx. not bad ah? ha ha-_-" we played til veri late lyk til abt 2plus in the morning. His 2nd aunty sent us to Bukit Panjang to take a cab which is much cheaper frm there. We reached home abt 3 plus and we take our bathe den we head to bed to rest. Spent my sunday @ home coz my sister msg me in the morning telling me dat there will be a family dinner but it was called-off so i called mum to meet her for dinner tgt wif my bf. got pretty angry wif my bf's stupid comments so i didnt wanted to talk to him lo. We had curry Fish-head for dinner and 2 other side dishes. we went hm after dat.

this friday, i cANT BLOG coz i'll be at Genting for holiday wif my "HIM".

MOS day.

2007-09-28T08:50:00.000+08:00

yesterday was my MOS day. LOLx. its been a long time since ii go club(ii didnt club for almost a mth). ii went wif van-jie, harry, joan, chris, vin, jojo, edison, tin and azmi. ii finally dance with my darling, azmi. ii'm missing all those times, all of us spent together. well before gg dwn 2 MOS, ii met van-jie2 & harry at Kinokuniya(taka) and guess wad i finally found my planner/schedule-book(2007-2009) den we went to Far East Plaza to haf our dinner & we also met up with joan(seductive)too.

After dat harry cut hair and we, girls went shopping lolx. my heels spoiled just while we are shopping so we went to get a flats. l8r, we headed bck to harry's place to take his car den wen MOS for e event. LOLx.

i going bck to my work. busy!

RUN*~~~~~~

*hmmmmm.. guess wad? ii'm gg 2 start blogging almost everyday except alternate weekends. good news rite?

update blog.

2007-09-27T09:09:00.000+08:00

so busy today. going to MOS later~

ii'm 20 already//.

2007-09-18T08:54:00.000+08:00

Happie Birthday to me~
Happie Birthday to me~~
Happie Birthday to Stephanie
Happie Birthday to me//x)

Thanks guys for the greeting and all. i really appreciate + touched cox i wasnt alone as i turn 20. Two, veri special people of my life dat i wanna thank is my boyfriend. he's the cause of all my happiness & joys.

"baby daR~
ii know, if ii wasnt for you..
ii would haf already broke-down,
in sinful tear.
uu gave me the reason to live on
and make me focus on my dreams &
goals.
Thank you so much for just
being there to support when ii
needed it the most.
Baby, iiLOVEuu//."

Other cause of my happiness was my LOVELY MUMMY. This burfdae was really special coz ii nv really celebrate my birthday wif my mummy ever since ii was 5 - 6years old. She was perfectly my angel.

"dearest mummy~
ii wannabe the best daughter,
uu haf gotten.
only giving uu good memories
and no more sad ones cox
ii LOVE mummy//.
Thank you so much. muackz//."

Sunday, 15 sept 2007
The day before my birthday, ii went to watch movie "881" with my mummy(her first time going for a movie with any of her kid, only me//.) and my bf @ Jurong East Entertainment centre. After dat, we all went k-box though the night b4 we cried lyk hell for my dad's horrible attitude towards us//. my daddy is gone & nowhere to be found. ii'm missing him really badly//...hais~ ii only can wait for him to be back frm all his rubbish. NO MORe!! Saddening things in my dictionary now. ii will give all my love to my mummy + my bf, louis. Later on, my bf had to go do his things so me & my mummy went hm and my aunties & grandma waitin' for us at home. We went for a veri delicious as we all agree den we went home for MAHJONG session. Abt 10plus - 11pm, they left my place for their hm... before 12midnight, my baby came to my place with a birthdae cake to celebrate it when the clock strike 12. my baby so sweet..rite??? LOLx. "wo shi xin fu de xiao nu ren." He stayover cox we were going to e zoo really early in the morning ma//.

Sunday, 16 sept 2007
my family went to the zoo except my bro, on Sunday, 16 sept which is on my 20th birthday//. Many pple laugh & joke abt it but ii still went coz ii'm missing e past as ii go zoo veri often. we were totally shagged-out frm the trip. Was bloody angry with my daddy after the trip to the ZOO//. my birthday dinner also got spoiled by his fucking attitude. Before going to e zoo, my mummy cooked mee suan for me 4 e veri first time. sis & mum give me ANGbaos. my sister still own me coca steamboat.. LOLx~ triple LOVE.

CUTE MoMEnts
But my cute 2nd bro, called me on the midnight of my birthdae eve.. Saying "HAPPIE BIRTHDAE" when it was only the eve but it the thought dat count as he key wrong dat on his PDA. LOLx~ ii LOVE my bro too!!fourth LOVE..

Special thanks to: "mummy(black top + angbao), louis' mummy(Guess-handbag), nee soon(5present), Abel(adidas white Jacket), chris(necklace), my sis & bro(angbao), aunty mary + my po po(angbao), aunty jennie(my delicious dinner), edward(zinc bag), rof(my hp + line), JOJO&VINN(eeyore), my baby(Braun buffel wallet), yifan(levis watch) & more to come bahz~

+ i miss all of you

take care~
loves,
stephie

2007-09-03T09:25:00.001+08:00

Get your own Chat Box! Go Large!

unperfect ways of love

2007-08-30T09:06:00.000+08:00

hmmm..ii'm bck to update my blog lo~ LOLx! Actually, nw i am working but i got nothing much to do cox i finished wad's given to me lo. Super tired coz i went down MOS last nite to show face and take my tag lo. MOS music getting really worst liao lo. Alot of things haf changed including those fwens dat i once realli trust betrayed me & my sis.. i dont understand y he must do all this things to make pples lives miserable lei? hais. one word for him "disappointed".

daRdaR & me going to genting in the Month of OcT with huili, her bf and i wish more couples come and join us lo. anyone interested to come us and know us de pls tag in my tagboard k? daRdaR: Our one-Month anniversary coming le wOrs. Suddenly everything seem so fast hOrs? LOLx~ i already know wad i wanna give you on dat day le. hehe=) i hope we really can last and thank you for loving me & doting me lyk a princess~

upload picture time........yeah!

Sweet Romance in Special moments

Patience is all we need to stay close

Moment..

love & care..

1 weeks to my One-month anni
3 weeks to my Birthday
5 weeks to Genting trip

LOLx..enjoy the picture & pls tag and make my blog noisy Kk? Michiyo(gf): Pls drink less and take good care of urself. only tok to you for awhile yesterday wOrs and i wanna tell, he doesnt love you so//......We love you k? baby girl, u just got to be strong k? muaCKx

ii cant love anyone wholeheartly?

2007-08-17T19:03:00.000+08:00

ii realise something today which is ii can love no one wholeheartly cox ii fear heartbreaks and hurts frm any guys dat love me for me. ii'm so sry, louis.. ii'm serious trying veri hard to give you my everything and wishing ii cant fooling myself over partying, drinking and getting myself drunk~ ii still cant give-up on the guy ii loved the most and hurt me the most. ii hope you give me time to forget him and ii realised ur heart still love her(tatoo) and ii'm have my fears abt ex's relationship.

ii'm so tired and ii starting work on monday lo. ii betta get my life bck frm nightlife. ii must prove to everyone dat i can work long in this jap company lo. ii going to miss out alot in clubbing lo. Seductive, ii miss all of you de wOrs~

hais~ love is so complicated.. wad the fcuk?!? LOLx~ ii wanna go out tonite cox at home veri boring cox mummy nt hm and dat give me a reason to be out!!!! ha ha=) but ii miss my mummy alot cox life without her sux~ she cannot leave me or else i'll go crazy. ha ha~ hmmmmmmmm.....

ii'm going to cough out my lungs le. ii very xin ku lo~` ii was having flu too..=)

COMPLICATED..

2007-08-06T13:31:00.000+08:00

Msg of the day: Love seems to be so complicated but it can also be something really sweet.. ha ha=) Mayb its time for me to get someone to be serious with bah. but there'll always be fears abt wat happened in the past. Still cant forget "TECK" but ii will try my best to do so cox i haf let go of the hatred ii haf against him. No point bahx.. He shud be with HER but ii shud get out of their lives. "NI MEN YI TING YAO XIN FU, XIE XIE NI AI GUO WO."

JOJO mei2: ii love you k? ur jie jie here will support your every decision but rmb to make a wise choice and dont regret abt it. ii will here with you. no matter wad happen, my house is always open for you. jie2 really dote you so pls dont keep everything to urself k? cox ii dont wan you to feel alone. u also got ur god-mummy whos my mummy to console you. Thank you for taking care of me on Sat & Sun..

Vinn(kor kor): i am sry.. i wasnt there for you wors and i really hope your daddy find peace and i know he will watch after you. Must do him proud and show the world dat you're proud to be your daddy's son~ "Uncle, if you can hear me, i hope you rest in peace." <3>

Seductive BOSS & mms: ii'm so sry abt Sat's meeting, i was able to make it becox i was sick and dat nite ii vomitted lyk hell.. ii hope you all understand k? Harry must cook for me too~` dont you all forget me k? miss all of you!! ii love SEDUCTIVE..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today, ii'm very tired but ii cant slp cox ii knocked my head on Sat. Nw there two "bao" on my head wors.. VERY PAIN ah!!!! ha ha=) ii'm quite fortunate to haf "someone" to help me to rub l8r. He so damn sweet wors.. 2day also got no appetite to eat lo~` didnt haf my breakfast and lunch cox really feel lyk puking lo.. ii was chatting with edward, my MR. pig- he's lyk a brother to me lo.. abt "someone". its a secret so ii will haf to keep it to myself for nw cox i dunno wad will happen in future.. ii'm just a common lil girl who can be found anywhere, i dunno wad he see in me. dotx~ STRANGE ah? ha ha=) ii hope ii cant eat something l8r as in my DINNER lahz~

Ytd i went to vivo wif him, my mei2(JO JO) for dinner.. The food @ FOODrepublic nt veri nice bahz. me & mei2 agree lo. Den we go walk ard cox he wanna add something new into his closet.. and after dat, we went to smoke and see aunties and uncles dancing LineDANCE lo. Enjoying life. me and jo jo were very tired lo cox wad happened in the previous nite bahz. i got to go and i will try to update sooner k? miss you all who read this. take care! must miss me wors.. LOLx~

ii'm finally bck frm hk

2007-07-16T02:52:00.000+08:00
hello~` ii'm bck frm hk lo, ii really love dat place and got myself many special and unique stuffs frm there. ii missed out lots of happening outing in Seductive@WG.. nutz~` ii ned to thanks those who came to the airport to send me off dat morning; e.g: yifan dear, vinn, rofino and chris who almost made me cant board dA plane coz he was late lo.. anyway, i didnt get to see him lo. haha=) hk was really fun and ii met my baobei godsis, JO JO there and we went ladies' street and ocean park~ we were really crazy in the park itself lo coz we played all the machine games @ there lo.. LOLx~` me and my parents got ourselves really close and ii realise dat ii am so blessed to haf dA both of them being there for me. No matter when ii was drunk, upset, cried and even those very happy moments. Simply becox ii love them alot!

When ii'm bck, ii lose dA guy ii wanted to be serious wif becoz ii really fell for him but ii always knew dat he still misses his ex. dont ask me y ii give him a chance coz ii tot he was seriously wanting to try this out but in the end of the story, i got nothing but hurts and pain frm the heart. ii cried and gt myself really drunk for the next fews nitex wif many guys protecting me. ii was saved and still alive kicking..LOLx~ Brandon, all ii can say nw, ii really hate eU for everything you've done. ii loved you but u used me dat nite. go bck to ur ex and ii hope ii nv see ya again. ii guess seeing you will get me into deepshit and pain.fuck off!~

As for everyone else, ii am currently sick and tired of loving anyone and ii going to be selfish for once cox ii just wannabe loved for me. yuppie~` i might b going for scruba diving at the end of this mth wif rof and his fwens lo.. simply just wanna forget the past and move on wif the bloody future.. my baby jojo's coming bck to SINGAPORE lo, she gonna be back to meet me lo. ii just wanna stay close wif her cox she's dA babe of many lo.. ii love JO JO.

let me show eU some nice pix dat i lyk the most~`

so sick~`

2007-07-04T17:06:00.000+08:00

ii fall sick again~ so sian worz!! ii love this movie "Because i said so" features MANDY MOORE & DIANE KEATON.. THEY are so GORGOEOUS!! the movie's so touching and it's soOo sweet. Mummy(DK) cares so much for her daughter(MM) and i tink of my mummy. She care so much for me coz i know she really love me coz she will always try her best to b there for me. Gg to hongkong wif her on her birthday wors.. Dear MUMMY, HAPPY ADVANCE BIRTHDAY TO YOU.. ii will nv leave you coz ii really love my mummy~` ii choose to be happy and happy is everything to me, ii wan pples ard me to be happy too. Thanks Joanna & my sayang who actually left msgs in my blog for me. cheers!! haha~` ii miss him so much but i know he dont love me.. but all i wish is to kiss him one last time b4 i go for my HK trip lo!! only request cox when ii'm back, ii guess ii will change every bits of me. Happiness is for you & me.. yea??

Oooh yah~ my baby nephew came to this world on 2nd of July 2007, he so ADORABLE & HANDSOME boi.. show you some pictures of him k?

baby Duncan~` he's sleeping...shhhhhhh...

so cute rite?? ii'm an aunty of two nephews lo~ so OLD liaox wors~ but ii dont mind keeping one coz babies are always so adorable and fun.. ii guess babies are hopes frm ABOVE to bless us wif so MUCH hopes and loves bahz! Sry ii cant be there for you, baby duncan for a wk lo and ii'm also so sick lo~` YI YI love you k? "yiyi" means aunty is cantonese.

got to get some rest coz the medicine making me drowsy lo... so tired!!! haha~ let me dream of you tonite K?

ii hate loneliness!

2007-06-22T23:12:00.000+08:00
ii just wanna be happy and stay happy but ii cant seems to do it wors y?? why can we be with those we really cared and loved lei?? why must we be loved by someone we dont..?? will ii find my true love by living life this way..?? nothing but clubbing & spending late nite with loneliness... ii miss someone ii shudnt even tink of anymore and ii kiss many dat ii dont love. Wad's wrong with me? can ii just get someone to love me just the way ii am..?? Can someone answer all my questions? ii hate lonliness!!!! haiz~ y cant it let me go?? y cant the one ii love ask me to go back to him?!? ii just wan to know "how r u?" or "gt miss me?" something ii wanna ask him but ii dont haf a chance anymore. he love himself not me or you?? y mus ii suffer this way.. y give me so many happy memories..?? y he made my heart broken?? y? Y? y? Y? y?

hiphop V launch party @ MOS

2007-06-15T21:47:00.000+08:00
last nite, ii went with JOJO, ROF and FELiX to MOS for e event. it was fun but felix lost his phone dere so abt sad lo but overall everything was fun la. took lotz of pictures with JOJO and the rest. ii wanna club with her again!!! ii just love her being so sweet & her cute actions jus melt my heart.

steph and jojo

@ MOS ladies

muackx!! 2nd level of MOS

so funnie........kiss again!

lick her. lick me.

@ exit staircase

alone @ ladies. waiting........... so redz~

she's so Pretty & cUte

in the MIRROR. JOJO+STEPH

we all had fun and ii really wanna club wif her more often. she always make me smilez. ii dote her lotz and she's my bAobEi lil girl. take care in HK. ii'll go look for you dere. ii gonna miss you!! Ooh no!! sob sob.. 20june'07 lo..so so soon!!!!

ii've lose e feeling for HIM

2007-06-10T22:02:00.002+08:00
hello. ii'm back to update here~ ii just dont wish to hurt him again but ii'm not ready to love and ii've lose the feeling ii used to haf for him. nw, ii just want to be love by ppls ard me. lyk my fwens, pals and even you. ii dont want to be stuck. ii guess ii'm just feeling lonely and neded someone to care for me. we overboarded the limits as fwens and ii just wanna us to just remain as bestfwen for nw til ii realli wanna settle dwn and stop flirting ard. "bEi, ii'm so sorry to treat you this way and mislead you. pls forgive me?!?" ii promise to keep in contact with you and the second chance, ii will give you but ii guess nt nw bah. ii wan my life to stay this way for awhile and i ned your understanding. ii really wan to gain the feeling we haf back soon but ii don wanna rush thing out. pls dont rush anything out frm me coz dat will just make me wanna runaway even more. keep in cool and calm, alrite?

ii'm sick again and vomited~ well, ii'm so weak and ii'm always tired and drowsy. ii haf been running to the toilet so many times and ii'm so tired. ii slept for 3/4 of my SUNDAE when ii'm suppose to be in sentosa, playing beach volleyball or soccer. just too sick to get up frm my bed. To my fwen "sry, ii put aeroplane this time coz ii really not feeling well." ii hope we can arrange for sentosa trip again bah. ii haf to recover soon!!

thanks rof for this flowers. my get-well-soon flowers. dey are beautiful and sunny"happy". isnt it nice?!? haha.. this is the first Bouquets of flowers this yrs or after many yrs but ii love blue-roses more lo. ii'll melt if a guy sent me a bouquet of blue-roses and ii'll be touched. lolx =x who will?!?valentines' day is over and my birthday is 3mths ahead(sept). well, no hope bahx. ii love surprise. thanks rof once again. ii will recover soon, no worries~

time for me to sign-off coz ii ned to rest lo. ii'm a sick girl..rmb??

-stephanie-

ii've lose e feeling for H

2007-06-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

SUNrise@eAst CoaSt wAs bEatiFuL.

2007-06-08T02:28:00.000+08:00

hello. update all of you wif my wonderful blog..LOL!! Last Sundae, ii went with my bEi to East Coast to see sunrise den cycling. We also make it a point that we will go there every weekends coz we love to cycle. bEi(f) and me, we r bck into gd term as fwen though he ask me to give him one more chance and ii am considering to get bck tgt wif him too. But as for nw ii just wan us to be just close fwen. LOL=x ii really wanna get to know him more first b4 we start to luf again. ii guess. ytd evening, ii met huili, rof and abel for dinner & window shopping cox me and huili quite broke le. we headed to suntec for FISH&CO. and ii only ate abit and dey are worried abt me coz i wasnt feeling well for the past wks le.. skips many meals and just wann to slp!! scary rite... ?? i haf been drink jus cereal only
lo. [haiz-.-"] oh yah, den we went bck to john little coz ii wanna get bras @ gss sales.. ii am also traveling to hongkong on 8 july so i shud start to slow prepare my things. Oooh well, ii really wann to get "SONY Cybershot-T20" so dat ii can take pretty pictures at HK. dream on!!! on Wednesdae, went out wif bEi to JP for dinner@subways den went walk walk ard and we saw a Adidas bag(green) WOW!! veri nice and ii bought it @ 10% off and all thanks to bEi's mei li lo. the sAleman gave us 10% and it only cost me $49.50. ii will bring it to HK wif me den we shop ard and saw Levis shop. some jeans were on up to 60% sales. he say when he get his this mth pay, he might get a pair of levis jeans for me.. LOLX!!! we also went to WORLDOFSPORTS and we saw a big PUMA bag for only $36 and ii am probably gg bck to get it nxt week or tml bah..for HK trip lo. This oversea trip dat ii have waited for more than 13yrs for it le. FINALLY, ii am gg to HONGKONG!! ii LOVE to go OVERSEA coz ii can eat & shop as much as ii wann to. yEAhh!!! dont miss me yah?? LOL=x got to go. ii'm really tired and sWeet dreamz everyone~

hate to love.

2007-05-28T23:43:00.000+08:00
just cant believe dat i suddenly hate to love. probably becoz no one really love me out of their true love and dey are jus faking it to haf e body, i guess. Love was something so beautiful and perfectly wonderful but y do pple ard me make it so ugly and impurify. I am a VIRGO yet i hate reality & truth coz it hurts. i guess i nv loved Mr.Ong and always haf been treating him As a brother all this while. nw i prefer not to love anyone coz i dont wanna get myself into anymore shit. well, as for Mr. Mcl.. i guessed he read my precious entries and tot i cheated on him which i didnt coz i am already writing/typing all this, in my blog. well, i wish he will understand me lo. i guess we aint suppose to be tgt bah.. fwen will be a good idea but ii still haf a lil feeling for him.. I am so tired coz haf been clubbin for the whole weekend, only sunday i went for wedding dinner..or else i am out to club again lo. This coming wednesday, i am going to zOUK for great R&B and groove!!! there's this song veri nice "no matter by akon". R&B rox!! smilex=).. im having veri bad cough and my throat really hurts lo. going to fall sick soon coz i dont haf enuff rest. i lyk torturing myself with things dat make me really tired and shag cox i dont wanna tink abt anything or anyone anymore coz im tired of life..veri tired!! i live for my parents onli...goodness!! i am so pesimissitic lo.. got to go off le coz tml got to work. nitex everiione

wAh!! secOnd half was GREAT....

2007-05-26T13:14:00.000+08:00
yesterday nite, i went zouk for as usual. Thou the first half sux but it was great in the second half.. not many went with me but i got huili, abel, kar, keno & his campmates. i only got a pic of yesterday which it taken after clubbin @ zOuk. really enjoy dancing with many ppls. got high and did lots of notti things lo.. LOL!! haha=)

taken 4plus in the morning with my ex-collegaes, keno. Im still sober but my legs were already failing me. Wahahaha.. actually, there shud be more photos of others dat i went wif but its wif kar.. lol.. nt bad arh...this pic.. well, dont mistaken him as my bf lo cox he's just a fwen afterall many yrs. I still love being SINGLE and AVAILABLE bah.
i guess i just lyk the lifestyle of singlehood coz giving me the free and ezy feeling, nt much to worry abt and MOST importantly...NO RESTRICTION!!! Wahahaha.. lol
[-_-"]

I wanna go MOS soon.. i wanna see wad's in the CLUB!!! tml, i got to go for shellin's wedding dinner. I still haf nt decided wad to wear lo.. wAhahaha!! Her BIG day. "COusin, Congrats to you yah??" HAPPY MARRIAGE!! yeahs!! got to go le.. lufs lots..MUACKZ!!

i love my mummy!!!!

2007-05-21T21:42:00.001+08:00
Today i went k-session with my mummy & aunties from 2pm to 7pm den me and mummy went take pics.. she's so cute and i love her so much coz i realise im so so close to her. She's the reason dat i am & i just wanna love & take care of her all my life.. no matter with or without a husband lo *smiles**my mummy & me... do we look alike?? i have a pretty mummy!! i love her!!!!!! so kawaii neh... more picss
@ Jurong East entertainment centre.. her simple smile melt my lil heart and i wAnnA say "I LOVE YOU"
*mummy wasnt not really.. sweet memories!!! she's on candid camera....WOOOoopssss!!!! haha=)

enjoy all the pictures mah?? i enjoy it myself coz it haf been yrs i took photos with my mummy.. come to think of it, quite touching le.. i am very HAPPY today!!!!!! me tomorrow going for interview le.. anyone knows where's maxwell rd?? im so lost ...dotx.. anyone know where is it??? help me plsssss..........i want to know where and how to get there?? so sad lo.. i suppose to reach there at 1.30pm.. wake up early lo..

give up

2007-05-19T12:16:00.000+08:00
He finally gave up and i guess its just not meant for us.. He try to get hold of me but i just aint the right girl to b with.. i think freedom is still my lifestyle and you'll alwasy urself hurt by the one you really love.. forget abt the past cox wad haf to be gone will ultimately go. fell too deep, hurt even deeper.. i hate this feeling when i predicted things AINT GOING RIGHT but i guess i lost my way again. Im tired of loving.. maybe planning to get back with a butch will it b better for me.. i guess sooooo..... FUCK everything off... i just aint myself anymore. i hate crying.. SOMEONE stop me plsssss.... letting go of something is always hard dats really something i haf to learn to bear.. Take care everyone..

lost.
steph

emotional+pain=tears

2007-05-10T06:49:00.000+08:00
pretty weak nw.. didnt eat dinner last nite coz i gt no appetite to eat anything after the jab and also i having my monthly discharge of blood...LOL!! was getting really emotional when i meet him and my tears keeps falling dwn my cheeks. i know he hates seeing me in tears..oh well, who like seeing girls in tears rite?!? dotx.. i've tender my resignation letter to my manager and spoken to him abt clearing my leaves and all. finally after i've been thru 6 suffering mths wif dat bitch in dat "company". Dont ask me: "haf you found a job?" and the answer "NO!".. anyone know of any job offer??? WaHahhahahahah.....=) gt 2days MC frm the doc for my gastric problems and i realise my gastric problem getting worst. i just hope dat things will go smoothly for me, as in i will get a job soon. My tender news, i dont wanna let my parents to know abt it coz i jus dowan dem to worried.. i guess im simply out of my mind but i didnt regret my decision. i'll get a job soon=) Always look on the bright side of life..! Mothers' day ard the corner, i've no worries coz i've got my mummy a bracelet dat she wanted. Very ex can?!? This month im pretty broke.. but she make this worthwhile buying for. At least, my mummy likes it.. i need to get some rest..

Lousy Laptop.

2007-04-25T00:14:00.000+08:00
After work, went down 2 Plaza Singapura 2 send my laptop back 2 the best OUTLET, where i bought the laptop. The customer service there sUx, waited 4 so long for them to serve and so we had late dinner and we went pass FOX and saw very nice top. To fill-up my closet, the outcome is i look lyk a young girl(14-16yrs old). I still bought it anyway cox i like it & since no one buy me eeyore doll so i bought for myself lo.. i love eeyore alot!!! wahahahahahahaha=) vent my anger on buying thing i like. I made the someone worry again and he dont seems to trust me at all. cox a mistake i made in the past, it barks him all the time i guess.. im so sry for all the hurts dat i bought to him. Especially, to say.. dat incident dat i failed to be truthful to him. I know he l_f me and i want him know i l_f him.. i know he cAnt commit and dont wan 2 give me false hope but still i just wan him 2 give the sense of security. Demanding 2 him hor.. We will try to work thing out the him & myself. i guess all his fears were the hurt i force into him.. To him, i really wanna apologise.. i haf been pushing you away cox i just cAnt take it when his past(gf) come back, it's my MR. Jealousy causing the fears. Hope he will read to know how i am feelin towards him. i WANNA believe we can! Its getting really late already, its time for me 2 end here. SOOOoo tired. 520 in cantonese. take care everyone.

"it's nv too late to save your relationships/principal/ ZEN(bro)

stephanie

0"

runaway

2007-04-17T23:15:00.000+08:00
hello!!! i havent been updating this blog for a mth cause i haf problem signing-in to blogger. finally im in here to write how i am feeling nw. i realised i've fallen 2 deep for this someone dat only love me for the fun of it. The runaway feeling is so strong.. 'cause i realise im not the girl dat moved his heart. I'm just something he neds playing with nw, when he's tired den i off the game. "i am Serious abt u" is the word he told me. I dont think its true. if i dont msg him anymore will he forget me and moved on with his life. He wont stop for anyone, anybody or any soul.. my heartaches comes when he say he's tired of me or he'll get tired of him. im meant to be single bah.. cried. hope he found his right girl..meanwhile, i'll be lover. i guess i just got to wait for him to kick me away or leave me for someone. dont worry abt me, i'll be fine. i haf to take time to let go of him. i so stupid to love............haix~

bRoKe-up

2007-03-11T01:26:00.000+08:00
Ooh well, Im free but i feel disappointed & upset cox my ex-bf tell my bestfwen bad things abt me. As for nw, i just hope to find a true true gf to chat wif. Knowing i lost my 5yrs(bestfwen). Im starting to hate my eX for being so selfish.. He's finally he's off my sight.. after we broke-up, he still wanna make things difficult for me. He snatched my bestfwen and tok rubbish to my mum, leaving her wif sad tots. My heart aches when i saw my mummy crying. He's out of my list and i'll nv give him anymore chance. I hope he can return me my money for the bike-$300.00 & etc.. Im happy the way i am, knowing that i still haf someone to love & dote me for nw. Although, im bothered wif him fooling ard wif his 10yrs(gd fwen)'s cousin(J) but still i luf him for who he is.. I know i am stupid to fall in love again, at this short period of time.. I do hope things wont change but he's only "3 degree" <-----in chinese. DOnt wish for everlasting...but for long..
got to go.

sad valentines

2007-02-07T20:30:00.000+08:00
updating you nw. well, i've learned to nt to hope for so much when i knoe i wont get a thing on my valentines day. He'll be in camp. I tot i could spend it with my bestfwen, huili but she attached. how abt rof? He'll be out sailing for 3 wks til 10 mar 2007. I miss him so much cox he's someone dat could listen to me and treat me well. Tgt wif my guy for a yr plus, i knoe its lyk so long alreadi but i simply knoe our luf jus aint the same anymore. He's no longer lyk the first time we met. Promises are meant to be broken & luf will nv stay for long. "He's nv mine." Tears are so common nowadays. I tired of being so worried abt my life and always wondering whether am i loved. His excuses will always be "He do not knoe how to luf me, it's all his fault." i wondered when will he start to understand wad i really wanted. So simple. i luf surprise, no worries abt money & when is the right time to care. He said will leave the world this yr and telling me his last words. Threatening me dat he'll kill himself, if i was to leave him for someone. i wondered if i was poor & ugly will he loved me for me? The ans is "nO!". I was silly to loved ppl who dont really love me. He always tell me dat tis girl or dat gal look lyk "Anna" whos nic's ex. He hate butchs nt becox i was wif one. Is dat "A" is wif a butch nw. Oh well, dont ask me why I stuck wif him coz i happened to fell deeper in luf wif him. I gave-up alot of my time, savings and trust. I hope to be free again. This is my heart's cry or desires. "If you luf "A", you jus haf to go after her to woo her. We shouldnt even meet at all and he shouldnt woo me. i learned to b alone & sad. Happy to me was jus histories to be forgotten. When he bought the ring, he seem forced by me. just lousy. I just want to go somewhere dat he couldnt find me at all.. "LOsT!" He do not luf me, the ring was just for show. He took out and left it on the side-table beside my bed. I knoe he do nt luf me for me. I dont knoe how long i cant hold on anymore. He's wif me coz he wan a bike and so he neds a guarantor which is my dad. I stupid coz i love him. Teach me to be strong and firm. I am always the one to say "Sorry". I am a girl. nvm. TIRED!

happy nEw yr - 2007.

2007-01-06T13:57:00.000+08:00
me & felix ARE almost 1yr Couple le but it seem lyk we wont b able to make it to dat day. we've a HUGE quarrel abt his past. Y cant he b honest to me? myne Heart breaks when you hide your past from me. u love me so much 4 e first 3mths tgt, yet he changed. He stop loving me as much. @ boat quay & Onefullenton(babyFACE), he ask me 2 b ur girl? i was shocked but i accepted it cox he seem to be so serious abt us.. mayb i didnt know him well before i accept, but i nv regretted e being with you. Recently, i get to know something i shld be hearing from his mouth nt from my friend's. I trust my fwen cox my sec sch classmate wont lie to me cox he's a honest man. i am just upset he hide from me thing i shld know. shld i forgive & forget? shld i just give up loving him. hE's so sweet at time but i guess i shld let nO one decide bah. haix.
Wad's love to you? To me, is to sacrifice for the one you loved. i guess sacrifice for him more den all my other EXs. wad i get a piece of shit lo. dat's life? my cousin & aunties are rite, cant trust a guy fully. still haf tO keep some secrets to myself. i lovf him but he... haix forget it.!

steph.